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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
Equanimity and perspective remove filterMy husband or wife remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 1Five minutes 1
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
A practitioner 7Me 5Someone I care about 4My husband or wife 2
Where you are right now
Getting ready for something 1Coping, mostly 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Both of us together 3Involves someone else 2On my own 1
Theme · Equanimity and perspective
Staying regulated in conflict 24Knowing your partner 15Affection and touch 13Rebuilding trust 12Listening and understanding 12Answering bids 11Repair after rupture 11Rituals of connection 11Shared spiritual life 10Emotions as signals 7Remembering to do it 4What anger actually is 4Your nervous system 3What you are actually defending 2Bringing the future closer 2Equanimity and perspective 2Fondness and admiration 2Gratitude 2Your sense of time 2Shame 2The moment before you snap 2Treatment and medication 1Practising under provocation 1When you go numb 1Feelings and focus 1Growing empathy 1Systems for daily life 1Choosing your response 1
When
Any ordinary day 1Under stress 1

Try putting a qualifier on the front of your strongest claims. In some ways this is true. In some ways it is not. In some ways I cannot tell from here.

Jain thinkers built a whole grammar out of that, seven careful ways of stating a thing, precisely so assertion stayed honest. Used well, a qualifier…

A minuteEquanimity and perspectiveMindfulnessQur’an 65:3

Have three or four openers ready before you need them. For what it is worth. Can I run something by you. You might not like this, so give me the benefit of the doubt.

When you are stirred up you will not compose diplomatic language on the spot, so the phrases have to be picked in advance and worn in. Say them aloud…

Five minutesEquanimity and perspectiveMindfulnessQur’an 3:173

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.