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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

1 practice
When you go numb remove filterMy husband or wife remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
Me 1A practitioner 1My husband or wife 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 3Both of us together 2Involves someone else 1
Theme · When you go numb
Staying regulated in conflict 24Knowing your partner 15Affection and touch 13Listening and understanding 12Rebuilding trust 12Answering bids 11Repair after rupture 11Rituals of connection 11Shared spiritual life 10Emotions as signals 7What anger actually is 4Remembering to do it 4Your nervous system 3What you are actually defending 2Your sense of time 2Shame 2The moment before you snap 2Gratitude 2Fondness and admiration 2Equanimity and perspective 2Bringing the future closer 2Practising under provocation 1Growing empathy 1Treatment and medication 1When you go numb 1Systems for daily life 1Choosing your response 1Feelings and focus 1

Pulling back makes you harder to reach, which makes people give up on reaching, which looks like proof that nobody was coming. The loop closes itself.

Being told to open up rarely breaks it, because opening up in one go is exactly the risk the whole strategy exists to prevent. What breaks it is…

Five minutesWhen you go numbEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.