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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
Tolerate distress remove filterMe remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 4Me 3Someone I care about 2
Where you are right now
Getting ready for something 2Coping, mostly 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 23Involves someone else 3
Theme · Tolerate distress
Medication and how it works 47Systems for daily life 26Staying regulated in conflict 24Knowing your partner 15Rebuilding trust 14Affection and touch 13Moving your body 13Listening and understanding 12Repair after rupture 11Rituals of connection 11Answering bids 11Food, caffeine and fuel 10Shared spiritual life 10The moment before you snap 10Breaking the worry loop 10Screens and attention 9What anger actually is 8Treatment and medication 7Growing empathy 7Your nervous system 7Feelings and focus 7Choosing your response 7Bringing the future closer 7Grounding and settling 6Remembering to do it 6The cost of avoiding 6Breathing 6Get started 6Exercise, food and other supports 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Facing it a step at a time 5Treatment and medication 5Equanimity and perspective 5What worry does 4What ADHD actually is 4Structure and routine 4When everything feels flat 4Cool the body first 4When you use something to cope 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Your sense of time 3Tolerate distress 3Practising under provocation 3Emotions as signals 3Being seen and judged 3Panic and the body 2Shame 2Rest and pacing 2Help someone grieving 2Touch and bodywork 2Fondness and admiration 2Ask and say no well 2What you are actually defending 2Gratitude 2Living with uncertainty 1The fear underneath anger 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Making it stick 1When you go numb 1Validate yourself and others 1Safety and grounding 1
Approach
Body based 2DBT skills 1
When
Under stress 1Any ordinary day 1After a row 1

A calming skill handed over at the wrong moment reads as your anger is not welcome here. For someone taught as a child that their anger was unacceptable, that is the old prohibition arriving again in kinder clothes.

Let the anger be seen first. Say that it makes sense, that there is a reason for it, and only then offer anything that settles the body. The order…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 2:45

Whoever is going to do the feeling picks what to work with. The tightness in the chest, the closing throat, the anger, the grief, whichever one they are ready for today.

Choosing keeps the person in charge of the dose, and being in charge is a fair part of what makes this different from whatever happened to them. If…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:286

Say it out loud before you start: you decide how much of this you feel, and when. Stopping for a bit is part of the plan, not a failure of it.

Being in charge of the dial is most of what separates useful contact with a hard feeling from being flooded by it again. If you are helping someone,…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:286

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.