Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

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2 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Theme · Practising under provocation
When · After a row

Going silent and hard is not a neutral act. A fixed stare and a set brow land on the other person's body as threat, even though you have not said a word.

People often think they are being restrained when they go cold, and are then surprised by how frightened or defensive the other person becomes. If…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 25:63

You can be genuinely indignant and still say the thing evenly. The feeling does not have to travel in your voice.

Notice what actually changes when the heat comes out of it: the words stay, the point stays, the volume and the edge go. It helps to know beforehand…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:34

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.