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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
Practising under provocation remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterAfter a row remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 1Five minutes 1
Who it is written for
A practitioner 2Me 2My husband or wife 1
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 1Coping, mostly 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 4Involves someone else 2
Theme · Practising under provocation
Staying regulated in conflict 11Repair after rupture 9Rebuilding trust 8Screens and attention 6What anger actually is 6Emotions as signals 4Remembering to do it 3Equanimity and perspective 2What ADHD actually is 2Practising under provocation 2Your sense of time 2Choosing your response 2Treatment and medication 1Bringing the future closer 1Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Moving your body 1Righteous anger and perfectionism 1Shame 1The moment before you snap 1Tolerate distress 1Affection and touch 1Validate yourself and others 1What you are actually defending 1Breaking the worry loop 1
When · After a row
After a row 2Coming and going 1

Going silent and hard is not a neutral act. A fixed stare and a set brow land on the other person's body as threat, even though you have not said a word.

People often think they are being restrained when they go cold, and are then surprised by how frightened or defensive the other person becomes. If…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 25:63

You can be genuinely indignant and still say the thing evenly. The feeling does not have to travel in your voice.

Notice what actually changes when the heat comes out of it: the words stay, the point stays, the volume and the edge go. It helps to know beforehand…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 41:34

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.