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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
Choosing your response remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
Who it is written for
A practitioner 2Me 2My husband or wife 1Someone I care about 1
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 1Coping, mostly 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 26Involves someone else 2
Theme · Choosing your response
Staying regulated in conflict 11The cost of avoiding 8Answering bids 7Screens and attention 6Affection and touch 5Your nervous system 4Feelings and focus 4Knowing your partner 3Listening and understanding 3Treatment and medication 2What worry does 2Choosing your response 2The fear underneath anger 2Getting assessed and diagnosed 2Grounding and settling 2Shame and stigma 2Structure and routine 2The moment before you snap 2Systems for daily life 2What anger actually is 2Treatment and medication 1Cool the body first 1Emotions as signals 1Growing empathy 1Equanimity and perspective 1Facing it a step at a time 1Feeling from the inside 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Medication and how it works 1Moving your body 1Exercise, food and other supports 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Rebuild trust 1Repair after rupture 1Rest and pacing 1Safety and grounding 1Shared spiritual life 1Tolerate distress 1What you are actually defending 1Breaking the worry loop 1
Approach
Gottman 1Core 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 3After a row 2Under stress 2

Do not only correct the thought, correct the sentence. Rather than do not shout at me, try can you take those off, I want to talk to you.

Telling yourself to stay calm gives you nothing to do, and the ready-made sharp line is still the only thing in your mouth. A plain request gives all…

A minuteChoosing your responseCoreQur’an 33:70

Before you walk out, say three things: this is getting heated, I need a bit of space, I will be back and we will carry on. The sentence is the skill, not the walking.

An exit with no words is read as punishment, and the other person will usually follow you to finish it, which is how a break turns into the worst…

A minuteChoosing your responseGottmanQur’an 33:70

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.