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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
The moment before you snap remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 1Five minutes 1
Who it is written for
Someone I care about 2Me 2A practitioner 1My husband or wife 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 30Involves someone else 2
Theme · The moment before you snap
Staying regulated in conflict 11The cost of avoiding 8Answering bids 7Screens and attention 6Affection and touch 5Feelings and focus 4Your nervous system 4Listening and understanding 3Knowing your partner 3Getting assessed and diagnosed 2Grounding and settling 2What anger actually is 2Shame and stigma 2Structure and routine 2The moment before you snap 2Systems for daily life 2Treatment and medication 2Choosing your response 2What worry does 2The fear underneath anger 2Treatment and medication 1Cool the body first 1Emotions as signals 1Growing empathy 1Equanimity and perspective 1Facing it a step at a time 1Feeling from the inside 1Reading, numbers and learning differences 1Medication and how it works 1Moving your body 1Exercise, food and other supports 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Rebuild trust 1Repair after rupture 1Rest and pacing 1Safety and grounding 1Shared spiritual life 1Tolerate distress 1What you are actually defending 1Breaking the worry loop 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 7Under stress 2After a row 1

Once it starts rolling, it gathers. A small exchange becomes a shouting match becomes something with consequences, and every step feels reasonable given the one before.

The cheapest place to stop is early, at the first sharp reply, long before you can see how far it has gone. Naming it out loud helps: "we are…

A minuteThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 2:268

There is a stretch after anger fires when a person is feeling rather than thinking. In it, only information that matches the emotion gets through, so reasoning at yourself or at anyone else is wasted breath.

What does land in that stretch is physical and relational: a slower breath, a change of room, a hand on your own chest, a kind tone that asks for…

Five minutesThe moment before you snapCoreQur’an 12:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.