Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
4 practicesHow long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
Theme · Tolerate distress
Approach
Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.
Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…
A calming skill handed over at the wrong moment reads as your anger is not welcome here. For someone taught as a child that their anger was unacceptable, that is the old prohibition arriving again in kinder clothes.
Let the anger be seen first. Say that it makes sense, that there is a reason for it, and only then offer anything that settles the body. The order…
Whoever is going to do the feeling picks what to work with. The tightness in the chest, the closing throat, the anger, the grief, whichever one they are ready for today.
Choosing keeps the person in charge of the dose, and being in charge is a fair part of what makes this different from whatever happened to them. If…
Say it out loud before you start: you decide how much of this you feel, and when. Stopping for a bit is part of the plan, not a failure of it.
Being in charge of the dial is most of what separates useful contact with a hard feeling from being flooded by it again. If you are helping someone,…
There is more about low mood and hard feelings than the practices: the low mood and hard feelings area has the themes and the courses too.