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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

165 practices
A minute remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
Area
Your marriage 66Focus, starting, and ADHD 32Your body 22Anger 19Worry and anxiety 17Low mood and hard feelings 5Yourself and your limits 2After harm 1Grief and loss 1
How long you have · A minute
A minute 165Five minutes 296Twenty minutes 126Longer 38
Who it is written for
Me 135A practitioner 91My husband or wife 76Someone I care about 67
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 124Getting ready for something 22Struggling right now 19
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 610Involves someone else 165Both of us together 36
Theme
Staying regulated in conflict 14Affection and touch 12Systems for daily life 10Answering bids 9The cost of avoiding 9Repair after rupture 7Listening and understanding 7Grounding and settling 7Medication and how it works 7Knowing your partner 5The moment before you snap 5Treatment and medication 5Breathing 4Structure and routine 4Rituals of connection 4Rebuilding trust 3Moving your body 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Treatment and medication 2Equanimity and perspective 2Your sense of time 2Making it stick 2Gratitude 2When everything feels flat 2What anger actually is 2Practising under provocation 2Emotions as signals 2Food, caffeine and fuel 2Cool the body first 2Choosing your response 2Fondness and admiration 2The fear underneath anger 1Validate yourself and others 1What you are actually defending 1Breaking the worry loop 1Your nervous system 1Tolerate distress 1Shared spiritual life 1Shame and stigma 1Screens and attention 1Safety and grounding 1Exercise, food and other supports 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Help someone grieving 1Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Get started 1Feelings and focus 1Feeling from the inside 1Bringing the future closer 1Being seen and judged 1Ask and say no well 1Touch and bodywork 1
Approach
Gottman 32Emotionally focused 27ADHD skills 22Core 20Medical and treatment 20Body based 17CBT 14Mindfulness 9DBT skills 2Trauma informed 1Grief 1
When
Any ordinary day 88Under stress 36After a row 19Coming and going 11In a change 8Something good 2When apart 1

When somebody insists angrily that they do not care, they usually care a great deal. The heat is the giveaway.

Indifference does not raise its voice. Answer the words and you get an argument about whether they care. Answer the caring underneath and you often…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 17:11

Anger shown early sometimes stops things going further. A clear no at the start can prevent the whole conversation that would have ended much worse.

Plenty of people learned this the hard way and they are not wrong: visible anger draws a line, and lines get respected. What is worth adding is the…

A minuteWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:41

When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?

Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 12:92

Being told not to worry has never once stopped anybody worrying, including you. If a friend said it to you tomorrow you would carry straight on.

This is worth saying to a parent who feels they are failing at comforting their child. They are not bad at it. The words simply do not do that job…

A minuteBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 2:186

The way you sound reaches people more directly than what you say. There is a pathway that tunes the ear towards the human voice, and a warm, unhurried voice uses it.

Worth knowing whether you are the one speaking or the one listening. If you are settling a child or a friend, let your voice go slower and softer and…

A minuteYour nervous systemBody basedQur’an 7:205

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.