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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices
Grounding and settling remove filterA minute remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
How long you have · A minute
A minute 7Five minutes 2
Who it is written for
A practitioner 7Someone I care about 7Me 4
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 4Struggling right now 3
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 21Involves someone else 7
Theme · Grounding and settling
Staying regulated in conflict 14Affection and touch 12Systems for daily life 10Answering bids 9The cost of avoiding 9Medication and how it works 7Grounding and settling 7Repair after rupture 7Listening and understanding 7The moment before you snap 5Knowing your partner 5Treatment and medication 5Breathing 4Rituals of connection 4Structure and routine 4Posture and how you carry yourself 3Moving your body 3Rebuilding trust 3When everything feels flat 2Practising under provocation 2Making it stick 2Your sense of time 2Treatment and medication 2What anger actually is 2Gratitude 2Fondness and admiration 2Equanimity and perspective 2Emotions as signals 2Food, caffeine and fuel 2Cool the body first 2Choosing your response 2Validate yourself and others 1Being seen and judged 1What you are actually defending 1Breaking the worry loop 1Your nervous system 1Ask and say no well 1Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Get started 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Feelings and focus 1Feeling from the inside 1Screens and attention 1Bringing the future closer 1Shame and stigma 1Shared spiritual life 1Safety and grounding 1Help someone grieving 1Tolerate distress 1Touch and bodywork 1The fear underneath anger 1Exercise, food and other supports 1
Approach
Body based 6Mindfulness 1
When
Coming and going 3Under stress 2When apart 1Any ordinary day 1

Say it plainly whenever you teach anything: the way I am showing you this is not the way it has to be done. Change it until it works for you.

Anyone who has failed at the standard version of something several times will not try again unless they are told clearly that adapting it is allowed.…

A minuteGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 65:7

When you are helping someone settle, put the technique in their hands rather than your own. They tap themselves, they set the pressure, they stop when they want to.

Being touched by someone else, even kindly and with permission, asks a lot of a person whose body has been handled badly before. Self-administered…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 40:64

After you have tried something to settle, check: how here do you feel now, compared with before? Do not assume it worked just because it usually does.

This takes ten seconds and does two jobs. It tells you whether that particular thing is worth reaching for again, and it slowly trains you to notice…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 39:23

On a video call, two things still work well: touching your own face gently, and rocking. Both are yours to do, and both are visible enough to be done together.

Distance takes away most of what one person can offer another physically, so it helps to know what survives it. A hand resting on your cheek, fingers…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 2:186

Whenever you offer a standing practice, offer the seated version in the same breath, and mean it. Say plainly that people should look after their own bodies and change anything that does not suit them.

Say it before you begin, not afterwards, so that nobody has to interrupt to ask. If you cannot see the people you are guiding, say that too, and say…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 65:7

Offer any movement in three sizes: small, medium and full. Let people take the one that fits today, and let them change their mind halfway through.

For a twist that might be a simple reach, or a reach with the other hand placed behind, or loose swinging arms. The three sizes do quiet work. They…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 65:7

When you offer someone a practice, ask them to tell you if it did nothing, and mean it. Say out loud that plenty of these do not land.

People agree that things helped for all sorts of reasons: not wanting to seem difficult, not wanting to disappoint you, having learned long ago that…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 16:53

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.