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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

2 practices
Practising under provocation remove filterA minute remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
How long you have · A minute
A minute 2Five minutes 1
Who it is written for
A practitioner 2Me 2My husband or wife 1Someone I care about 1
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 1Getting ready for something 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 11Involves someone else 2Both of us together 1
Theme · Practising under provocation
Staying regulated in conflict 14Affection and touch 12Systems for daily life 10The cost of avoiding 9Answering bids 9Medication and how it works 7Repair after rupture 7Grounding and settling 7Listening and understanding 7Knowing your partner 5Treatment and medication 5The moment before you snap 5Structure and routine 4Breathing 4Rituals of connection 4Rebuilding trust 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Moving your body 3Fondness and admiration 2Your sense of time 2Treatment and medication 2Equanimity and perspective 2Emotions as signals 2Food, caffeine and fuel 2Cool the body first 2Choosing your response 2What anger actually is 2Making it stick 2When everything feels flat 2Gratitude 2Practising under provocation 2Feeling from the inside 1Bringing the future closer 1Being seen and judged 1Ask and say no well 1Exercise, food and other supports 1Obsessions and compulsions 1The fear underneath anger 1Safety and grounding 1Screens and attention 1Shame and stigma 1Shared spiritual life 1Tolerate distress 1Touch and bodywork 1Help someone grieving 1Validate yourself and others 1What you are actually defending 1Breaking the worry loop 1Your nervous system 1Getting assessed and diagnosed 1Get started 1Feelings and focus 1
When
After a row 1Coming and going 1

Going silent and hard is not a neutral act. A fixed stare and a set brow land on the other person's body as threat, even though you have not said a word.

People often think they are being restrained when they go cold, and are then surprised by how frightened or defensive the other person becomes. If…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 25:63

Before anyone does something exposing, let them check their own conditions and give them a clean way to say no. A public yes given under pressure is not really a yes.

It can be as ordinary as asking someone to consider whether they have the privacy, the time and the state of mind for this today. Ask it first and…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 2:45

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.