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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

9 practices
Grounding and settling remove filterInvolves someone else remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 7Five minutes 2
Who it is written for
A practitioner 9Someone I care about 8Me 6
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 4Struggling right now 4Getting ready for something 1
On your own, or with someone · Involves someone else
On my own 60Involves someone else 9Both of us together 2
Theme · Grounding and settling
Medication and how it works 61Systems for daily life 37The cost of avoiding 36Screens and attention 26Staying regulated in conflict 24Moving your body 21Treatment and medication 20Knowing your partner 15Exercise, food and other supports 15Rebuilding trust 14Feelings and focus 13What ADHD actually is 13What anger actually is 13Affection and touch 13Listening and understanding 12Repair after rupture 11Answering bids 11Rituals of connection 11Your sense of time 11Breaking the worry loop 11Your nervous system 11The moment before you snap 10Structure and routine 10Shared spiritual life 10Food, caffeine and fuel 10Facing it a step at a time 10Getting assessed and diagnosed 10What worry does 10Bringing the future closer 9Grounding and settling 9Growing empathy 7When everything feels flat 7Breathing 7Treatment and medication 7Get started 7Equanimity and perspective 7Emotions as signals 7Cool the body first 7Choosing your response 7Remembering to do it 6Reading, numbers and learning differences 6Shame and stigma 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5When you use something to cope 5Touch and bodywork 4Tolerate distress 4Making it stick 3Being seen and judged 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Panic and the body 3Practising under provocation 3Feeling from the inside 2Shame 2Gratitude 2Fondness and admiration 2Help someone grieving 2Rest and pacing 2The fear underneath anger 2Ask and say no well 2What you are actually defending 2Validate yourself and others 1When you go numb 1Living with uncertainty 1Safety and grounding 1
Approach
Body based 8Mindfulness 1
When
Coming and going 4Any ordinary day 2Under stress 2When apart 1

Say it plainly whenever you teach anything: the way I am showing you this is not the way it has to be done. Change it until it works for you.

Anyone who has failed at the standard version of something several times will not try again unless they are told clearly that adapting it is allowed.…

A minuteGrounding and settlingMindfulnessQur’an 65:7

When you are helping someone settle, put the technique in their hands rather than your own. They tap themselves, they set the pressure, they stop when they want to.

Being touched by someone else, even kindly and with permission, asks a lot of a person whose body has been handled badly before. Self-administered…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 40:64

After you have tried something to settle, check: how here do you feel now, compared with before? Do not assume it worked just because it usually does.

This takes ten seconds and does two jobs. It tells you whether that particular thing is worth reaching for again, and it slowly trains you to notice…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 39:23

On a video call, two things still work well: touching your own face gently, and rocking. Both are yours to do, and both are visible enough to be done together.

Distance takes away most of what one person can offer another physically, so it helps to know what survives it. A hand resting on your cheek, fingers…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 2:186

Whenever you offer a standing practice, offer the seated version in the same breath, and mean it. Say plainly that people should look after their own bodies and change anything that does not suit them.

Say it before you begin, not afterwards, so that nobody has to interrupt to ask. If you cannot see the people you are guiding, say that too, and say…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 65:7

Offer any movement in three sizes: small, medium and full. Let people take the one that fits today, and let them change their mind halfway through.

For a twist that might be a simple reach, or a reach with the other hand placed behind, or loose swinging arms. The three sizes do quiet work. They…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 65:7

When you offer someone a practice, ask them to tell you if it did nothing, and mean it. Say out loud that plenty of these do not land.

People agree that things helped for all sorts of reasons: not wanting to seem difficult, not wanting to disappoint you, having learned long ago that…

A minuteGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 16:53

Start with a couple of minutes of movement before any of the difficult talking. Not a warm up for its own sake: a body that has moved is easier to think in.

Two or three minutes is enough. Roll the shoulders, round and lengthen the spine, turn gently side to side. It also says something without anyone…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 8:11

Let the breath go along with the movement rather than counting it out. If you are guiding someone, do not set the pace of their breathing for them.

Being told exactly when to breathe in and out is unpleasant for more people than you would expect, and for anyone whose breath was held tight through…

Five minutesGrounding and settlingBody basedQur’an 48:4

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.