Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Righteous anger and perfectionism Someone I care about On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 5 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for · Someone I care about

A practitioner 13 Me 12 Someone I care about 8

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 7 Struggling right now 1

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 8 Involves someone else 3 Both of us together 1

Theme · Righteous anger and perfectionism

Your nervous system 83 Systems for daily life 60 What anger actually is 57 Grounding and settling 48 Moving your body 47 What ADHD actually is 47 Your sense of time 46 Medication and how it works 46 The fear underneath anger 45 Exercise, food and other supports 44 Equanimity and perspective 42 Cool the body first 41 Treatment and medication 33 Bringing the future closer 30 Shame and stigma 29 Get started 24 Breathing 23 What worry does 23 The moment before you snap 21 Screens and attention 20 Structure and routine 20 Remembering to do it 20 What you are actually defending 19 Food, caffeine and fuel 15 Feelings and focus 14 Making it stick 14 Tolerate distress 13 Breaking the worry loop 13 When you use something to cope 12 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Self-compassion 11 Growing empathy 10 Choosing your response 9 Righteous anger and perfectionism 8 When everything feels flat 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Use your strengths 7 Facing it a step at a time 7 When anger turns to harm 6 Practising under provocation 5 Shame 4 Letting it out safely 4 Being seen and judged 3 Getting assessed and diagnosed 2 Question the thought 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Obsessions and compulsions 1 Feeling from the inside 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Rest and pacing 1

When

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 2

Certainty feels good. That sudden clean sense of knowing exactly who is in the wrong is part of what keeps anger coming back, so it is worth noticing as a pleasure rather than as proof.

Anger tidies things up. The doubt goes, the mixed feelings go, and for a moment you know where you stand. Take that away without putting anything in…

A minuteRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 53:32

When someone is in full flood, leaving is allowed. Getting out of the way of a person who is past listening is a skill, not a defeat.

You can say where you are going and that you will come back to it, which keeps it from reading as punishment. This matters most for anyone who was…

A minuteRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 42:41

If you are simmering most days and cannot point to what set it off, look at the standards you are running rather than at the day itself. A rule that is never quite met keeps producing small failures for you to react to.

Try listing what you expected of this morning, hour by hour, and see how many of those expectations were met exactly. Most people find a long tail of…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 2:185

However you speak to yourself about your own mistakes is usually how you will end up thinking about other people's. Going easier on yourself is not a treat you have not earned, it is part of getting easier on everyone else.

Watch for it in small moments. You snap at someone for being slow, and if you are honest you would have flayed yourself for exactly the same thing.…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 4:28

Some anger is really an expectation that will not be put down. The other person has moved on, the thing is over, and you are still holding the version of how it should have gone.

The tell is a short fuse over things that barely matter: a queue, a misplaced item, someone doing a job their own way. When frustration arrives that…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 23:62

A fair share of what angers you each day was selected for you, because outrage is what holds attention. Worth asking what you are being served, and how often.

Look back at the last hour of scrolling and count how many items were built to get exactly the reaction you gave them. You do not have to swear off…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 49:6

Some of what makes people angry is far bigger than any one conversation can settle. Saying that plainly is not giving up, it stops you carrying what was never yours.

If you are the calm one, at work or in a family or in a consulting room, there is a steady pull towards feeling you ought to be able to sort out the…

Five minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 22:78

If you carry a firm picture of how the world is supposed to work, the world will break it several times a day. No coping skill outpaces a supply of grievance that never runs out.

This is not a case for caring less about fairness. It is about telling apart an injustice you could act on from the general refusal of life to be…

Twenty minutesRighteous anger and perfectionismCoreQur’an 3:104

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.