Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

Emotions as signals On my own Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 1 Five minutes 4 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

My husband or wife 6 A practitioner 6 Me 6

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 4 Struggling right now 2

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 6 Both of us together 5 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Emotions as signals

Your nervous system 81 Medication and how it works 69 Get started 61 Systems for daily life 52 What anger actually is 50 Your sense of time 48 Food, caffeine and fuel 43 The moment before you snap 42 Choosing your response 41 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Moving your body 37 What ADHD actually is 35 Treatment and medication 34 Equanimity and perspective 33 Bringing the future closer 33 Grounding and settling 31 The fear underneath anger 30 When everything feels flat 29 Screens and attention 28 Touch and bodywork 27 Getting assessed and diagnosed 25 Structure and routine 25 Practising under provocation 24 Feelings and focus 22 Shame and stigma 22 Making it stick 20 What worry does 19 Treatment and medication 19 Cool the body first 19 Being seen and judged 18 Remembering to do it 17 Breathing 17 Growing empathy 17 Feeling from the inside 15 When you use something to cope 15 What you are actually defending 13 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Fondness and admiration 12 Answering bids 10 Tolerate distress 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 10 Obsessions and compulsions 10 Staying regulated in conflict 9 Use your strengths 8 Knowing your partner 8 Self-compassion 8 Breaking the worry loop 7 Gratitude 7 Shared spiritual life 7 Facing it a step at a time 7 Question the thought 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Emotions as signals 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Shame 4 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Living with uncertainty 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 When anger turns to harm 3 When you go numb 3 Repair after rupture 2 Rest and pacing 2 Meaning after harm 2 Work with your brain 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Affection and touch 1 Listen to the body 1 Listening and understanding 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Panic and the body 1 Rebuilding trust 1 Safety and grounding 1 Your window of tolerance 1

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 6 After a row 3 Under stress 3

You do not need a long list of feeling words. Half a dozen you can actually reach for under pressure will do more than forty you have to look up.

Angry, sad, afraid, ashamed, surprised, glad is enough to start with, and most hard moments are some mixture of the first four. The aim is not to…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:8

You cannot ask for something you cannot feel the want of. Before working out how to say it, spend a minute finding what you actually need.

This is why advice to communicate better so often goes nowhere. The words come out tidy and land as nothing, because there was no felt need inside…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 26:13

Ask what the feeling is trying to do for you. Anger clears an obstacle, fear gets you out, sadness calls for comfort, shame hides you from being seen.

Once a feeling has a job it stops being a defect you have to apologise for. That matters, because the ones we treat as shameful are precisely the…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:86

Often nothing is buried. The pieces are all there, they have simply never been put next to each other.

This hurts but I do not know why usually means the event, the feeling in the body and the meaning are being held separately. So join them up out…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 28:10

If all you can say is that you want to get away, that is already information. Nobody moves away from nothing, so somewhere in there is something that felt hard.

You do not need to know what it is yet. Hold the smaller version for a while: something here is difficult, and the pulling back is how I have been…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 91:8

Take one episode from this week and give it five lines: what set it off, how you read it, what happened in your body, what you took it to mean, and what you wanted to do.

Doing this with an actual event, rather than in general, is what makes it useful. Keep the lines short and resist tidying them into something more…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:29

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.