Practices

Going from talking online to talking in person is not one more step up the same ladder. It is a different ladder, and it deserves rungs of its own.

Those rungs might run from voice notes, to a phone call, to a video call with the camera on, to meeting one person you already know somewhere quiet,…

When a step does not happen, cut the next one down without any speech about it. Smaller, and carry on.

Progress here is often slower than anyone would like, and that is the method working rather than the method failing. What does real damage is a run…

You will probably not feel yourself getting better. One day you will be halfway through a chat with a stranger and realise you are doing the thing you could not do.

This is worth knowing at the start, because the middle is where people decide nothing is happening and stop. The change comes in pieces too small to…

Panic rarely comes out of nowhere. It usually lands on a body already short of sleep, running on coffee and eating at odd hours, so whatever tipped it over did not have far to push.

This is not a telling off about your habits. It is that the same argument or deadline arrives very differently at a rested body than at a wrecked…

Stay with a step until it stops being interesting. Not until you have survived it once, but until it is ordinary, and then move up.

Moving on too early turns the ladder into a run of narrow escapes, and each escape teaches that you got out just in time. The marker worth waiting…

If this has been going on for years, medication is often part of what helps, and it usually needs a longer run at it than people expect. Starting low and building up slowly is the normal way of doing it.

The slow build is there to keep side effects bearable through the first few weeks, which is where most people quietly give up. It helps to agree with…

An exam is a task with requirements. It is not a ruling on whether you are capable, however much it feels like one while you are sitting inside it.

Saying that once changes very little. The person this comes from took a long time to arrive at it, and that is worth knowing so you do not expect it…

If attention and planning are already hard work for you, then the very tools for handling anxiety are the things you find difficult. That is not a failure to try. It means the plan needs more scaffolding and more repetition.

Expect to need things that sit outside your head: written steps, alarms, someone who checks in, a shorter ladder with smaller rungs. Go slower than a…

Short sessions spread over days beat one long night. The settling of what you learned happens after you stop, and a short night undoes a good deal of the day's work.

A perfectionist will not cut their hours to be kinder to themselves, but they will cut them to get a better mark. So argue it on those terms.…