Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

31 practices

Screens and attention On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 6 Five minutes 17 Twenty minutes 7 Longer 1

Who it is written for

A practitioner 29 Me 28 Someone I care about 20

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 17 Struggling right now 14

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 31 Involves someone else 26 Both of us together 5

Theme · Screens and attention

Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83 Medication and how it works 83 The moment before you snap 76 Choosing your response 73 Get started 65 Systems for daily life 62 Grounding and settling 60 The fear underneath anger 57 Equanimity and perspective 57 Cool the body first 55 Your sense of time 52 Touch and bodywork 52 What ADHD actually is 49 Food, caffeine and fuel 49 Moving your body 48 Bringing the future closer 46 Exercise, food and other supports 44 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 43 Getting assessed and diagnosed 42 Feelings and focus 38 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Practising under provocation 36 Screens and attention 31 Shame and stigma 30 Making it stick 29 Breathing 28 Structure and routine 25 What worry does 24 Treatment and medication 24 Feeling from the inside 23 Tolerate distress 23 Being seen and judged 22 What you are actually defending 21 Remembering to do it 20 Growing empathy 20 When you use something to cope 19 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Obsessions and compulsions 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Breaking the worry loop 13 Answering bids 13 Emotions as signals 12 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Facing it a step at a time 11 Knowing your partner 10 Shame 10 Use your strengths 9 Posture and how you carry yourself 8 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Repair after rupture 8 Gratitude 7 When anger turns to harm 7 Shared spiritual life 7 When you go numb 4 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Living with uncertainty 4 Calm the body 3 Name what you feel 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Rest and pacing 3 Safety and grounding 3 Act on your values 3 Let the wave come 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Get it out of your head 2 Hold a boundary 2 Work with your brain 2 Face it gently 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Keep the bond 2 Panic and the body 2 Find meaning 2 Listen to the body 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Affection and touch 2 Rituals of connection 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Ride the urge 2 Patience and trust 2 Validate yourself and others 1 Listening and understanding 1

Approach

ADHD skills 14 CBT 8 Core 6 Medical and treatment 3

When

Any ordinary day 28 Under stress 2 Something good 1

What you are on there for matters more than how long you are on. Scrolling to keep up with people you love is a different activity from posting and then watching to see who approved.

Use aimed at status, at likes, at managing how you come across tends to sit alongside feeling worse. Use aimed at staying in touch and sharing what…

Five minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 57:20

Online you can draft, delete, reply an hour later or simply leave. None of that exists in a kitchen, and plenty of people now find real conversation unbearably fast.

So the ordinary friction of talking to someone in person, the pause you fill badly, the thing that comes out wrong, gets read as proof that you are…

Five minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 18:28

Spend long enough in comment sections and cruelty starts to look like the normal way people speak. It is not. You are reading a very odd sample.

Rudeness online is loud, cheap and rewarded, so it fills the space out of all proportion to how common it is. The trouble is that we generalise.…

Five minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 4:140

Check, feel the small relief, put it down, feel the pull again a minute later. If your phone use has that shape, it is running like a compulsion, whatever else it is.

The structure matters more here than the label. An urge rises, checking brings it down, and every check teaches the urge to come back sooner. Which…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 6:68

Sitting with one long unrewarding task has got harder for almost everyone. If you are planning work for yourself, or setting it for someone else, build the variety in rather than hoping for stamina.

In practice that means breaking a long stretch into shorter ones with something marking the end of each, changing what the work looks like part way…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 24:37

A whole evening can go into recording an evening. It is worth asking, with no scolding in it, whether you were there for the thing you now have a photograph of.

This lands better than a rule about hours, because it is about something you would miss rather than something you are doing wrong. Try leaving the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 28:77

If the phone was giving you company, an evening class in something practical will not cover it. Match what you put in its place to what it was actually providing.

Subtracting an hour and leaving the hour empty is the version that collapses by Thursday. If it was company, the replacement has people in it. If it…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 28:77

Write down three to five things you actually enjoy, small ones, and do one of them a day. That is the whole instruction.

They have to be yours rather than the ones that sound impressive. Sitting in the garden with tea counts. Ten minutes on the guitar counts. Keep the…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 33:35

Most parents setting rules about an app have never scrolled it for ten minutes. The rules are usually reasonable and the picture underneath them is missing.

This is not really about being permissive. If you do not know that the feed is chosen for you, that one worried search brings a fortnight of similar…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionCBTQur’an 17:36

For a week, jot down what was going on just before you picked up the phone, what you were thinking while you scrolled, and how you felt when you put it down. Nothing cleverer than that.

What usually surfaces is not that screens are bad but that two or three specific things are: one account, one time of day, one mood you always reach…

Twenty minutesScreens and attentionADHD skillsQur’an 20:131

One client took two years of steady work to get a single app off her phone. If you are three weeks in and it is still there, you are not doing this wrong.

Change here is slower than nearly everyone expects, including the people helping. Saying so early protects both sides: you do not read a slow month…

LongerScreens and attentionCoreQur’an 31:19

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.