Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

When anger turns to harm Coping, mostly On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 1 Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for

A practitioner 5 Someone I care about 4 Me 3

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Coping, mostly 5 Struggling right now 2

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Both of us together 6 On my own 5

Theme · When anger turns to harm

Medication and how it works 52 Your nervous system 52 What anger actually is 45 Choosing your response 41 Get started 41 Systems for daily life 39 The moment before you snap 39 The fear underneath anger 38 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Equanimity and perspective 36 Your sense of time 31 Bringing the future closer 30 Moving your body 30 Touch and bodywork 30 Treatment and medication 27 Getting assessed and diagnosed 26 When everything feels flat 26 Exercise, food and other supports 26 Feelings and focus 25 Grounding and settling 22 What ADHD actually is 21 Food, caffeine and fuel 19 Practising under provocation 19 Cool the body first 18 Making it stick 18 Structure and routine 18 Screens and attention 17 What you are actually defending 17 What worry does 17 Treatment and medication 16 Growing empathy 15 Breathing 15 Answering bids 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Being seen and judged 12 Shame and stigma 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 12 Feeling from the inside 12 Remembering to do it 11 Knowing your partner 10 Tolerate distress 8 Repair after rupture 8 Emotions as signals 8 Self-compassion 8 Breaking the worry loop 7 Gratitude 7 When you use something to cope 7 Shared spiritual life 7 Use your strengths 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Facing it a step at a time 6 Question the thought 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Meaning after harm 4 Calm the body 3 Let the wave come 3 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Safety and grounding 3 Name what you feel 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Act on your values 3 Working with anger 3 Affection and touch 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Listen to the body 2 Keep the bond 2 Hold a boundary 2 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Patience and trust 2 Rest and pacing 2 Ride the urge 2 Rituals of connection 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Face it gently 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Validate yourself and others 1 The cost of avoiding 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Panic and the body 1 When you go numb 1 Listening and understanding 1

When

Any ordinary day 3 After a row 1 Under stress 1

Whatever is driving it, behaviour that frightens someone is frightening. The reason behind it does not soften what it was like to stand on the other side of it.

Two people can do something that looks identical from outside and mean quite different things by it. That difference matters for what will help the…

A minuteWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 24:15

Harm that comes out of feeling threatened and harm that is done coldly, to get something, are not one problem wearing two faces. Before deciding what would help, work out which one you are looking at.

The first kind runs hot. A person feels cornered, the body goes off, and the damage is done inside a few seconds. The second is quiet and aimed, with…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 42:42

Imagining revenge is ordinary and on its own tells you very little. What matters is whether it has started collecting details: a particular person, a method, a time, something bought or moved.

Almost everybody who is furious has run some version of a scene in their head, and treating that as alarming only teaches people not to mention it.…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 11:112

Some of what a person does to a partner is not defence and not temper. It is a script they watched at home, absorbed as ordinary, and never once held up to the light.

The tell is that it does not feel like a decision. There was no rush of heat and no sense of crossing a line, because at some level this is simply…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:19

If the harm has only ever happened when someone had been drinking, the drinking is not the background to an anger problem. It is the anger problem.

Families often know this long before anyone says it aloud: he is fine, except. Go through it honestly, every incident, drunk or sober, and if…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:29

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.