Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

15 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Breathing
Medication and how it works 52Your nervous system 52What anger actually is 45Choosing your response 41Get started 41The moment before you snap 39Systems for daily life 39The fear underneath anger 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Equanimity and perspective 36Your sense of time 31Bringing the future closer 30Moving your body 30Touch and bodywork 30Treatment and medication 27Exercise, food and other supports 26When everything feels flat 26Getting assessed and diagnosed 26Feelings and focus 25Grounding and settling 22What ADHD actually is 21Practising under provocation 19Food, caffeine and fuel 19Structure and routine 18Making it stick 18Cool the body first 18Screens and attention 17What worry does 17What you are actually defending 17Treatment and medication 16Growing empathy 15Breathing 15Answering bids 13Fondness and admiration 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Being seen and judged 12Feeling from the inside 12Shame and stigma 12Remembering to do it 11Knowing your partner 10Emotions as signals 8Tolerate distress 8Self-compassion 8Repair after rupture 8Gratitude 7When you use something to cope 7Shared spiritual life 7Breaking the worry loop 7Use your strengths 7Anger, alcohol and the body 6Facing it a step at a time 6When anger turns to harm 5Question the thought 5Meaning after harm 4Name what you feel 3Let the wave come 3Your worth is not conditional 3Posture and how you carry yourself 3Working with anger 3Act on your values 3Calm the body 3Rebuilding trust 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Safety and grounding 3Affection and touch 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Patience and trust 2Rest and pacing 2Ride the urge 2Rituals of connection 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Validate yourself and others 1The cost of avoiding 1Living with uncertainty 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Listening and understanding 1
When

The famous count is not automatically your count. One teacher finds that adding a pause after the inhale wakes her up, while the plain long exhale has her asleep within three breaths.

Protocols get passed around because they worked for someone, often someone with a large audience. That is not the same as fitting you. Keep the shape…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 3:191

Breath is the quickest way you have of turning your own nervous system up or down. Nothing else you can simply decide to do works on that timescale.

Your heart rate already rises slightly as you breathe in and falls as you breathe out, on every breath. So changing how you breathe changes something…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 48:4

Put a hand just below your ribs and let it move. Most of us breathe up in the chest, and the settling effect comes from lower down, where the diaphragm can actually shift.

You can check this lying down with a book on your stomach. If the book rises, the breath is going where you want it. If only your shoulders move, it…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 15:29

There is no breath that calms everyone. The one that settles your friend may leave you worse, and that is information about your body rather than a failure in you.

Labels like calming or energising are a rough guide at best. What actually happens depends on how you usually breathe, what your body has been…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 50:16

Start with a count of four in and four out, then drop the count. Once the rhythm is there your body will choose its own length: six and six, eight and eight, whatever settles you.

The count is scaffolding. Holding onto it too long turns the practice into something you can pass or fail, which is the opposite of the point.…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 81:18

Four in, hold four, four out, hold four. The holds are the strong part of this one, and they stay optional every single time.

Some people find the pauses deeply settling. Others meet the edge of what they can tolerate there, especially at the bottom of the exhale. Both are…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 65:7

Rather than pulling in a big breath, breathe gently and slightly less than you want to, then wait. The deep breath that arrives by itself does more than the one you force.

Keep the breathing light and unhurried, and after a while a mild hunger for air builds. Let it build a little. At some point the body takes a fuller…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:5

Holding your breath for a moment makes the next one deeper, which sounds backwards until you know why. The urge to breathe is driven by carbon dioxide, not by a shortage of air.

Sensors in the brainstem watch the level of carbon dioxide in your blood, and a pause, especially after breathing out, lets it rise a little. The…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 15:29

The three ordinary breaths between rounds are not a gap in the practice. They are where you find out what the practice did.

Come back to normal breathing and check the body, the thoughts, the mood, the energy. Do not analyse it, just register it. Going round after round…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 39:23

To find the soft ocean sounding breath, breathe out through your mouth as if fogging up a mirror. Then keep that same slight narrowing at the throat with your mouth closed, and let the sound get quieter and quieter.

Starting with the mirror gives you something to do instead of an anatomy lesson about a part of the throat you cannot see. Once the mouth closes, the…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 7:205

Close your right nostril with your thumb and breathe in through the left. Swap fingers at the top, breathe out through the right, in through the right, then out through the left. That is one round.

The fiddliness is not a flaw in the design. Keeping track of which nostril and which stage takes up just enough of your mind that there is little…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 13:28

These practices are not only pleasant. They change things you could measure, which is worth knowing on the days when pleasant is not reason enough to bother.

Yoga and breath work tend to get filed under relaxation, and that undersells them. There are claims made about them shifting the chemistry involved…

Twenty minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 32:9

There are two skills here rather than one: letting your body move and settle in its own way, and being able to steer yourself deliberately towards rest or alertness. It is worth having both.

Most people are strong in one and shy of the other. If you always take charge, your body never gets to finish anything on its own. If you only ever…

Twenty minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 2:153

How often you actually do it matters more than which version you chose. The people who keep turning up tend to get more out of it, and those who carry on at home get more again.

This is quietly encouraging, because an unimpressive practice done regularly beats an ideal one you manage twice. It also sets the expectation…

LongerBreathingBody basedQur’an 4:103

Part of why martial arts suit some people has little to do with the kicking. Every session opens with a plan and closes with a look back at what happened and what comes next.

Those brackets at each end are doing quiet work: planning, then reviewing, then planning again, which are exactly the things that are hard to hold in…

LongerBreathingBody basedQur’an 7:205

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.