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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

8 practices

Tolerate distress Coping, mostly On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 3 Five minutes 4 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

Me 8 A practitioner 5 Someone I care about 3

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Struggling right now 13 Coping, mostly 8 Getting ready for something 2

On your own, or with someone · On my own

On my own 8 Involves someone else 2

Theme · Tolerate distress

Medication and how it works 52 Your nervous system 52 What anger actually is 45 Get started 41 Choosing your response 41 Systems for daily life 39 The moment before you snap 39 The fear underneath anger 38 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Equanimity and perspective 36 Your sense of time 31 Bringing the future closer 30 Moving your body 30 Touch and bodywork 30 Treatment and medication 27 Exercise, food and other supports 26 Getting assessed and diagnosed 26 When everything feels flat 26 Feelings and focus 25 Grounding and settling 22 What ADHD actually is 21 Practising under provocation 19 Food, caffeine and fuel 19 Structure and routine 18 Cool the body first 18 Making it stick 18 What you are actually defending 17 Screens and attention 17 What worry does 17 Treatment and medication 16 Growing empathy 15 Breathing 15 Fondness and admiration 13 Answering bids 13 Feeling from the inside 12 Being seen and judged 12 Shame and stigma 12 Righteous anger and perfectionism 12 Remembering to do it 11 Knowing your partner 10 Repair after rupture 8 Tolerate distress 8 Emotions as signals 8 Self-compassion 8 Breaking the worry loop 7 Use your strengths 7 When you use something to cope 7 Shared spiritual life 7 Gratitude 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Facing it a step at a time 6 Question the thought 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Meaning after harm 4 Name what you feel 3 Let the wave come 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Safety and grounding 3 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Act on your values 3 Calm the body 3 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Get it out of your head 2 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Affection and touch 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Find meaning 2 Keep the bond 2 Listen to the body 2 Rituals of connection 2 Ride the urge 2 Face it gently 2 Rest and pacing 2 Patience and trust 2 Hold a boundary 2 Listening and understanding 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Panic and the body 1 When you go numb 1 Validate yourself and others 1 The cost of avoiding 1

Approach

Body based 3 DBT skills 3 Mindfulness 2

When

Under stress 4 Any ordinary day 4

Tell yourself the true thing: this feeling is real, and it is temporary. No state lasts. Ride it out.

You do not have to fix it right now. You only have to outlast it. Feelings crest and fall like weather.

A minuteTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:5

Wise mind is not a calmer version of you. It is the state where what you feel and what you have thought through are both in the room, and neither has thrown the other out.

In practice it means you can feel the heat in your chest and still choose the next sentence. Neither half is the enemy: pure logic talks you out of…

A minuteTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 12:18

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214

Stop fighting what already is. Accepting a hard reality, without approving of it, ends the extra layer of pain.

Saying it is so is not the same as saying it is fine. Dropping the war with what already happened frees you to respond.

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 64:11

Soothe yourself through the senses: a warm drink, a soft cloth, a good scent, a slow walk. Be kind to the body.

When you cannot fix the feeling, comfort the one who is feeling it. Small kindnesses to the body settle the mind.

Five minutesTolerate distressMindfulnessQur’an 93:6

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83

Ask what you were taught about crying, about anger, about needing anything. Not what you believe now, but what you were told then, in the words that were actually used.

Most rules about feelings were installed rather than chosen, and once you can hear the original sentence, boys do not cry, do not be so sensitive, it…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 3:186

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.