Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices

When anger turns to harm On my own Clear all

How long you have

A minute 1 Five minutes 4 Twenty minutes 2

Who it is written for

A practitioner 7 Someone I care about 6 Me 5

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 5 Struggling right now 2

On your own, or with someone · On my own

Both of us together 8 On my own 7

Theme · When anger turns to harm

Your nervous system 108Medication and how it works 83 What anger actually is 83 The moment before you snap 76 Choosing your response 73 Get started 65 Systems for daily life 62 Grounding and settling 60 The fear underneath anger 57 Equanimity and perspective 57 Cool the body first 55 Touch and bodywork 52 Your sense of time 52 Food, caffeine and fuel 49 What ADHD actually is 49 Moving your body 48 Bringing the future closer 46 Exercise, food and other supports 44 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 43 Getting assessed and diagnosed 42 Feelings and focus 38 Practising under provocation 36 Staying regulated in conflict 36 Screens and attention 31 Shame and stigma 30 Making it stick 29 Breathing 28 Structure and routine 25 Treatment and medication 24 What worry does 24 Feeling from the inside 23 Tolerate distress 23 Being seen and judged 22 What you are actually defending 21 Growing empathy 20 Remembering to do it 20 When you use something to cope 19 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Breaking the worry loop 13 Obsessions and compulsions 13 Answering bids 13 Fondness and admiration 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Self-compassion 12 Emotions as signals 12 Question the thought 11 Facing it a step at a time 11 Knowing your partner 10 Shame 10 Use your strengths 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 Posture and how you carry yourself 8 Repair after rupture 8 Shared spiritual life 7 Gratitude 7 When anger turns to harm 7 Living with uncertainty 4 Meaning after harm 4 Letting it out safely 4 When you go numb 4 Your worth is not conditional 3 Calm the body 3 Act on your values 3 Name what you feel 3 Working with anger 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Let the wave come 3 Rest and pacing 3 Rebuilding trust 3 Safety and grounding 3 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Listen to the body 2 Your window of tolerance 2 Work with your brain 2 Find meaning 2 Rituals of connection 2 Face it gently 2 Ride the urge 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Hold a boundary 2 Affection and touch 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Patience and trust 2 Panic and the body 2 Listening and understanding 1 Validate yourself and others 1

When

Any ordinary day 3 Under stress 2 After a row 2

Whatever is driving it, behaviour that frightens someone is frightening. The reason behind it does not soften what it was like to stand on the other side of it.

Two people can do something that looks identical from outside and mean quite different things by it. That difference matters for what will help the…

A minuteWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 24:15

Harm that comes out of feeling threatened and harm that is done coldly, to get something, are not one problem wearing two faces. Before deciding what would help, work out which one you are looking at.

The first kind runs hot. A person feels cornered, the body goes off, and the damage is done inside a few seconds. The second is quiet and aimed, with…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 42:42

The person you love and the person who frightened you are one person, and you are not obliged to decide which of them is the real one. Both were in the room.

People tend to collapse this in one direction or the other. Either the frightening one is the truth and every kind thing was an act, or the kind one…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:110

Imagining revenge is ordinary and on its own tells you very little. What matters is whether it has started collecting details: a particular person, a method, a time, something bought or moved.

Almost everybody who is furious has run some version of a scene in their head, and treating that as alarming only teaches people not to mention it.…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 11:112

Before anything else, take seriously what self-injury is doing for a person. Pain in the body can be easier to hold than pain in the mind, and a hurt you chose yourself can feel like control coming back.

There are other honest reasons too. It can switch the world off for a while, or hold up a kind of armour: nobody can hurt me worse than I already do,…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 28:77

Some of what a person does to a partner is not defence and not temper. It is a script they watched at home, absorbed as ordinary, and never once held up to the light.

The tell is that it does not feel like a decision. There was no rush of heat and no sense of crossing a line, because at some level this is simply…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:19

If the harm has only ever happened when someone had been drinking, the drinking is not the background to an anger problem. It is the anger problem.

Families often know this long before anyone says it aloud: he is fine, except. Go through it honestly, every incident, drunk or sober, and if…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:29

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