Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

28 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone · On my own
Theme · Breathing
Your nervous system 108What anger actually is 83Medication and how it works 83The moment before you snap 76Choosing your response 73Get started 65Systems for daily life 62Grounding and settling 60Equanimity and perspective 57The fear underneath anger 57Cool the body first 55Your sense of time 52Touch and bodywork 52Food, caffeine and fuel 49What ADHD actually is 49Moving your body 48Bringing the future closer 46When everything feels flat 44Exercise, food and other supports 44Treatment and medication 43Getting assessed and diagnosed 42Feelings and focus 38Staying regulated in conflict 36Practising under provocation 36Screens and attention 31Shame and stigma 30Making it stick 29Breathing 28Structure and routine 25What worry does 24Treatment and medication 24Tolerate distress 23Feeling from the inside 23Being seen and judged 22What you are actually defending 21Remembering to do it 20Growing empathy 20When you use something to cope 19Reading, numbers and learning differences 14Obsessions and compulsions 13Fondness and admiration 13Answering bids 13Breaking the worry loop 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Emotions as signals 12Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Facing it a step at a time 11Knowing your partner 10Shame 10Use your strengths 9Posture and how you carry yourself 8Anger, alcohol and the body 8Repair after rupture 8Shared spiritual life 7When anger turns to harm 7Gratitude 7Letting it out safely 4When you go numb 4Living with uncertainty 4Meaning after harm 4Name what you feel 3Safety and grounding 3Rest and pacing 3Rebuilding trust 3Act on your values 3Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Let the wave come 3Calm the body 3The cost of avoiding 2Patience and trust 2Affection and touch 2Panic and the body 2Listen to the body 2Rituals of connection 2Keep the bond 2Hold a boundary 2Get it out of your head 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Ride the urge 2Care for yourself in loss 2Work with your brain 2Your window of tolerance 2Listening and understanding 1Validate yourself and others 1
When

Breath work goes straight into the body, and for some people that is the problem. If your panic has ever been about not getting enough air, putting your attention on your breathing can set it off rather than settle it.

Asthma, a history of choking or smothering, panic that arrives through the chest: any of these makes the breath a loaded place to put your attention.…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 6:125

The famous count is not automatically your count. One teacher finds that adding a pause after the inhale wakes her up, while the plain long exhale has her asleep within three breaths.

Protocols get passed around because they worked for someone, often someone with a large audience. That is not the same as fitting you. Keep the shape…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 3:191

When you are flat rather than wound up, try this. Rub your palms together until they feel awake, let them rest, then breathe in as your arms lift and out as they lower, two or three times.

Sluggish, heavy, far away: those states rarely respond to more calming. A bit of friction in the hands, some movement through the arms and a fuller…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 20:25

For when you are stuck in shutdown there is a faster practice: short sharp exhales driven from the belly, letting each in breath happen by itself, about twenty of them.

It is meant to rouse, so expect to feel more awake and a little buzzy afterwards rather than calm. Twenty is plenty. Sit down before you start so…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 21:87

Breath is the quickest way you have of turning your own nervous system up or down. Nothing else you can simply decide to do works on that timescale.

Your heart rate already rises slightly as you breathe in and falls as you breathe out, on every breath. So changing how you breathe changes something…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 48:4

Put a hand just below your ribs and let it move. Most of us breathe up in the chest, and the settling effect comes from lower down, where the diaphragm can actually shift.

You can check this lying down with a book on your stomach. If the book rises, the breath is going where you want it. If only your shoulders move, it…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 15:29

Breathe in for about five and out for about ten, and do not hold at the top. Go straight from the in breath into the out breath, five to ten times over.

That pause after the inhale feels natural to add, and it can raise your heart rate rather than lowering it, which undoes what you came for. If ten…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:1

Fighting, running and freezing are the ones everybody can name. There is a fourth: going along with things, smoothing them over, making yourself easy to be around so that nothing bad happens.

It gets read as being agreeable, or as a personality, and it is often neither. If you grew up being criticised, or spent years around someone…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 15:97

You are not trying to talk yourself into feeling calm. You are trying to move your body from one setting into another, and the breath is the handle you can reach.

Once the alarm system is running, stress hormones are already in the blood and telling yourself to relax does very little about them. Changing the…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 48:4

Hot yoga asks you to keep drinking all the way through the class. If forgetting to eat and drink is one of your regular problems, choose a different room.

This is not about the style being bad. It is about matching what you choose to the things you genuinely find hard. Dehydration creeps up quietly and…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:5

There is no breath that calms everyone. The one that settles your friend may leave you worse, and that is information about your body rather than a failure in you.

Labels like calming or energising are a rough guide at best. What actually happens depends on how you usually breathe, what your body has been…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 50:16

Start with a count of four in and four out, then drop the count. Once the rhythm is there your body will choose its own length: six and six, eight and eight, whatever settles you.

The count is scaffolding. Holding onto it too long turns the practice into something you can pass or fail, which is the opposite of the point.…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 81:18

Four in, hold four, four out, hold four. The holds are the strong part of this one, and they stay optional every single time.

Some people find the pauses deeply settling. Others meet the edge of what they can tolerate there, especially at the bottom of the exhale. Both are…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 65:7

If you keep only one thing, make the out breath longer than the in breath. Four in and eight out is enough, and nothing clever is needed on top of it.

This is the closest thing to a dependable settling lever. It suits the end of the day, a queue you are stuck in, the ten minutes before sleep. Some…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:1

If big breathing feels like too much, make it smaller instead. Breathe so smoothly that the in breath rolls into the out breath with no sound and no edges.

This asks almost nothing of you, and that is the point. Nothing to count, nothing to hold, no depth to reach for. For anyone whose panic runs through…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 20:26

Rather than pulling in a big breath, breathe gently and slightly less than you want to, then wait. The deep breath that arrives by itself does more than the one you force.

Keep the breathing light and unhurried, and after a while a mild hunger for air builds. Let it build a little. At some point the body takes a fuller…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:5

Holding your breath for a moment makes the next one deeper, which sounds backwards until you know why. The urge to breathe is driven by carbon dioxide, not by a shortage of air.

Sensors in the brainstem watch the level of carbon dioxide in your blood, and a pause, especially after breathing out, lets it rise a little. The…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 15:29

The same breathing serves different jobs at different times. Early on it may be there to help you sleep and stay contained. Later it may be there to help you feel more, not less.

This is worth knowing so you do not judge yourself for finding a practice useful now that was useless six months ago, or the other way round. In the…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 4:103

Let the in breath come however it comes, then breathe out through pursed lips as though through a straw for a count of eight, finishing with two more counts through the nose. Three ordinary breaths, then go again.

Three rounds is the usual dose. Notice what is deliberately left uncounted: the inhale. Counting the in breath when someone is already panicking…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 16:53

The three ordinary breaths between rounds are not a gap in the practice. They are where you find out what the practice did.

Come back to normal breathing and check the body, the thoughts, the mood, the energy. Do not analyse it, just register it. Going round after round…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 39:23

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.