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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices
Me remove filterCBT remove filterComing and going remove filterClear all
Area
Worry and anxiety 3Anger 2Focus, starting, and ADHD 2
How long you have
A minute 1Five minutes 5Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 11Someone I care about 9Me 7
On your own, or with someone
On my own 3Involves someone else 3Both of us together 1
Theme
Practising under provocation 2Feelings and focus 2Breaking the worry loop 1The cost of avoiding 1Facing it a step at a time 1
Approach · CBT
Medical and treatment 23ADHD skills 17CBT 7Core 5DBT skills 4Gottman 4Body based 3Grief 2Mindfulness 2Trauma informed 1Narrative 1
When · Coming and going
Any ordinary day 140Under stress 43After a row 15Coming and going 7In a change 6When apart 1

The first day back is worse than the weeks before it, not better. Plan for that spike rather than letting it take you by surprise.

Anxiety climbs as the return gets close and peaks somewhere near the doorway, then it comes down, but only for someone who stays long enough to find…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 2:155

Let the person facing it choose the first step, and let them choose an easy one. A rung somebody picked gets climbed. A rung assigned to them gets argued about.

Ask which one they would be willing to have a go at this week, not which one they ought to be able to manage. The answer usually sits somewhere in…

Five minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 29:69

What you expect from a treatment shapes what you get from it. That is worth a conversation before you start, not months later when it has not worked.

If you are beginning something new and half of you thinks it is nonsense, say so. A doubt that stays unspoken tends to come out as a missed…

Five minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 3:139

Nobody tolerates something unpleasant for no reason. Before starting anything difficult, get clear about what you want on the other side of it, in your own words.

Something like: I want to sit an exam without being sick, so I am willing to practise feeling uncomfortable. The sentence has to be yours. A goal…

Five minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 2:45

Before anyone does something exposing, let them check their own conditions and give them a clean way to say no. A public yes given under pressure is not really a yes.

It can be as ordinary as asking someone to consider whether they have the privacy, the time and the state of mind for this today. Ask it first and…

A minutePractising under provocationCBTQur’an 2:45

Almost everyone says the same thing afterwards, that the waiting was worse than the thing itself. Say it out loud in your own words, because your own words land differently from anyone else's reassurance.

Before a difficult conversation, write one line about how bad you expect it to be. Afterwards, write one line about how it actually went. Over a few…

Five minutesPractising under provocationCBTQur’an 29:69

Before you go towards the thing you are afraid of, it helps to have two things to hand: a way to settle your body, and a fairer account of what is likely to happen.

Neither of them is meant to take the fear away. They are there so you can stay in the situation long enough for it to teach you something, and that…

Five minutesBreaking the worry loopCBTQur’an 2:153

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.