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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterCBT remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
Area
Worry and anxiety 4Focus, starting, and ADHD 3
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 20Five minutes 26Twenty minutes 7Longer 1
Who it is written for
A practitioner 7Me 6Someone I care about 5
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 5Coping, mostly 2
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 3On my own 3Both of us together 1
Theme
Feelings and focus 3The cost of avoiding 2What worry does 1Facing it a step at a time 1
Approach · CBT
ADHD skills 10Medical and treatment 8CBT 7Core 6Body based 5Gottman 5Trauma informed 3Grief 2Emotionally focused 2Narrative 1DBT skills 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 39Under stress 7After a row 3In a change 2When apart 2Coming and going 1

When someone with attention difficulties loses the structure around them, the difficulty shows in full. Nothing has got worse in them; the scaffolding that carried part of it has gone.

Bells, a timetable, a teacher at the front, other people visibly working: all of that was taking some of the load. At home the load falls on whoever…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 2:45

When the fear is about being seen, being asked, being judged, you can build the steps out of real moments: the doorway, the corridor, the dining hall, answering once in a lesson.

Fear of a whole building cannot be practised. Fear of walking into the dining hall at half past twelve can. Make each step small enough to be boring…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 90:11

When something frightens you the mind offers one option: do not go. Force out two or three more before judging any of them, daft ones included. Choosing needs something to choose between.

There is an order that works. Say what the problem actually is, in one sentence. List some options without weighing them yet. Then go through what is…

Twenty minutesFacing it a step at a timeCBTQur’an 12:87

Some of what you believe about yourself is not a distortion. Things really did go wrong, often for years. What can be argued with is the conclusion you drew from them, that this is simply what you are.

Try separating the record from the verdict. The record might be missed deadlines, jobs that ended badly, friendships that faded. The verdict is 'so I…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 39:53

Worry does two things at once. It makes the problem bigger than it is and it makes you smaller than you are. The second half is the one that usually goes unchallenged.

After years of being told you get things wrong, a low estimate of yourself does not feel like a distortion, it feels like the evidence. So argue with…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 2:286

Instead of stopping the worry, follow it all the way to the end. And then what happens. And then what. At each step, ask whether you could bear that.

Most catastrophes stop being catastrophes somewhere along the chain, and the place where you say no, I could not bear that, is the useful discovery.…

Twenty minutesFeelings and focusCBTQur’an 94:5

Once the surge is up it takes something like a quarter of an hour to drop, and nothing sensible said inside that window will land. Give it the time first.

This is the point where a parent, a partner or a friend reaches for reasons, and the reasons make it worse. Keep your words few, stay nearby, offer…

Twenty minutesWhat worry doesCBTQur’an 13:28

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.