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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices
What you are actually defending remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterMindfulness remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Five minutes 5
Who it is written for
Me 7A practitioner 7Someone I care about 6
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 7Struggling right now 2
Theme · What you are actually defending
Equanimity and perspective 33The moment before you snap 18Making it stick 9Choosing your response 8Grounding and settling 8What you are actually defending 7Feeling from the inside 5Calm the body 3Cool the body first 3Name what you feel 3Ride the urge 2Tolerate distress 2Working with anger 1
Approach · Mindfulness
Core 13Mindfulness 7
When
Any ordinary day 5Under stress 2

Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.

This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 2:206

Your mind is always slightly behind what is happening. Reality moves and you are the response, which leaves you permanently a step late and permanently not quite sure.

Put that way, uncertainty is not a flaw in your thinking, it is the position you are standing in. You are flying into the next moment without having…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:23

A lot of angry certainty is frightened certainty. Needing to know exactly what is going on, and exactly who is at fault, is more comfortable than admitting the situation cannot be fully read.

From the outside it looks like arrogance, and from the inside it feels like clarity. Underneath it is usually the same discomfort as any other…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 17:36

Not knowing is not a fault in you. It is the ordinary condition of being alive, and much of the distress comes from the belief that it ought to be otherwise.

There is the discomfort of not knowing, and then a second layer on top: the sense that you were supposed to know by now and something has gone wrong.…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 49:12

Righteous anger pays you something. It burns off doubt, hands back a sense of being in charge, and can feel very close to intoxicating.

Any plan that treats anger purely as a skills problem runs into this. You are asking somebody to give up a thing that works, and it is fairer to say…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 12:53

Understand more so that you may fear less. That line is the whole point of learning how your anger works: not cleverness, just less fear.

People with a temper are rarely persuaded by being told to calm down, and are often genuinely interested in how the machinery works. Knowing what…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:90

The aim is not to work out the answer. It is to keep moving while the answer is missing, and to find that the fear does not have to run the day.

When something is unsettled, your mind hands you one job after another: replay it, check it, decide what they really meant. You can put those down…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 3:154

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.