Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
4 practicesArea · Low mood and hard feelings
How long you have
Who it is written for
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.
Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…
Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.
For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…
Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.
One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…
Ask what you were taught about crying, about anger, about needing anything. Not what you believe now, but what you were told then, in the words that were actually used.
Most rules about feelings were installed rather than chosen, and once you can hear the original sentence, boys do not cry, do not be so sensitive, it…
There is more about low mood and hard feelings than the practices: the low mood and hard feelings area has the themes and the courses too.