Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
4 practicesHow long you have
Who it is written for · A practitioner
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
On your own, or with someone
Approach · Trauma informed
Think of the reaction as a small program sitting quietly, waiting for one particular condition. It is not running all the time, and which condition wakes it is a question with an answer.
Keep a short list for a few weeks. Only what was happening in the ten seconds before: a tone of voice, being interrupted, somebody standing over you…
Working out where your reaction came from will not switch it off. That is not a failure of your insight, it is simply how the two kinds of memory work.
The story you can tell sits in one system. The flinch sits in another one, older and quicker, and it never learned from explanations. Which means the…
Every incident you get through without looking at it leaves something behind, a charge that goes off a bit quicker next time. Asking for help early is not making a drama of it, it is cheaper than the version that comes later.
People assume an escalating pattern means they are becoming a worse person. More often it means the same route has been practised a few more times…
When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.
Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.