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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
Growing empathy remove filterFive minutes remove filterMy husband or wife remove filterClear all
How long you have · Five minutes
A minute 1Five minutes 3Longer 1
Who it is written for · My husband or wife
A practitioner 14Me 13Someone I care about 7My husband or wife 3
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 2Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone
Both of us together 2Involves someone else 1
Theme · Growing empathy
Emotions as signals 19Feelings and focus 10Staying regulated in conflict 9Knowing your partner 8Rebuilding trust 7What anger actually is 7When you go numb 6Remembering to do it 5Listening and understanding 5Shared spiritual life 4Your nervous system 3Growing empathy 3Equanimity and perspective 3Rituals of connection 3Shame 3The moment before you snap 3Treatment and medication 3Systems for daily life 2Choosing your response 2Bringing the future closer 2Repair after rupture 2Practising under provocation 1Affection and touch 1The fear underneath anger 1What you are actually defending 1Use your strengths 1Your sense of time 1
Approach
Medical and treatment 2Body based 1
When
After a row 2Any ordinary day 1

Repeating back what your partner said proves you were listening. It does not prove you were touched by it, and they can tell the difference.

Reflective listening can be done perfectly and still land cold, because the words check the content while your face and body report that nothing…

Five minutesGrowing empathyBody basedQur’an 21:107

Telling somebody one thing you are quietly embarrassed about will bring you closer than a month of pleasant conversation.

It does not have to be dramatic. The worry you have never said out loud, the mistake you still think about at night, the thing you are no good at.…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 28:23

The thing worth admitting is not that you were angry. It is what you were frightened of underneath it: being made a fool of, being left, being counted as useless.

Anger is the easy half to say and it rarely lands well. The fear underneath is harder to say and it is the part that gets you heard. One sentence…

Five minutesGrowing empathyMedical and treatmentQur’an 17:24

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.