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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

226 practices
Twenty minutes remove filterA practitioner remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterClear all
Area
Focus, starting, and ADHD 109Your body 49Anger 37Worry and anxiety 21Low mood and hard feelings 10
How long you have · Twenty minutes
A minute 339Five minutes 739Twenty minutes 226Longer 80
Who it is written for · A practitioner
A practitioner 226Me 218Someone I care about 158My husband or wife 45
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Coping, mostly 226Struggling right now 116Getting ready for something 83
On your own, or with someone
On my own 126Involves someone else 55Both of us together 45
Theme
Systems for daily life 20Medication and how it works 19Moving your body 17Getting assessed and diagnosed 11The cost of avoiding 11Get started 10Screens and attention 9Your nervous system 8Touch and bodywork 8Treatment and medication 7Feelings and focus 7Breaking the worry loop 5What anger actually is 5What ADHD actually is 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5Exercise, food and other supports 5The moment before you snap 5Righteous anger and perfectionism 4The fear underneath anger 4Bringing the future closer 4Growing empathy 4Grounding and settling 4When everything feels flat 4When anger turns to harm 4Breathing 3Emotions as signals 3Reading, numbers and learning differences 3Making it stick 3Structure and routine 3What worry does 2Shame and stigma 2Your sense of time 2Feeling from the inside 2Equanimity and perspective 2When you use something to cope 2Cool the body first 2Anger, alcohol and the body 2Tolerate distress 1Choosing your response 1Facing it a step at a time 1Use your strengths 1Treatment and medication 1Remembering to do it 1Practising under provocation 1Posture and how you carry yourself 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Rest and pacing 1
Approach
ADHD skills 68Medical and treatment 61Core 30CBT 29Body based 22Mindfulness 8Emotionally focused 3DBT skills 2Parts work 2Trauma informed 1
When
Any ordinary day 198After a row 12Under stress 6In a change 6When apart 2Coming and going 2

When someone introduces themselves as an abuser, take the word seriously without treating it as the finding. A label names a category of offence, not what is actually going on in them.

Some people arrive with the language of a programme or a court already fitted to them, and it closes down the question of what drives the behaviour…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 3:135

Some of what a person does to a partner is not defence and not temper. It is a script they watched at home, absorbed as ordinary, and never once held up to the light.

The tell is that it does not feel like a decision. There was no rush of heat and no sense of crossing a line, because at some level this is simply…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:19

Ask whether the anger is really about this person at all, or whether it is contempt for a whole category of people that happens to have someone standing nearby.

It sounds different once you listen for it. The complaints come out in the plural, about how women are or what wives do, and the particular person in…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 16:90

If the harm has only ever happened when someone had been drinking, the drinking is not the background to an anger problem. It is the anger problem.

Families often know this long before anyone says it aloud: he is fine, except. Go through it honestly, every incident, drunk or sober, and if…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:29

Hormones are part of this for everyone, not only for men and not only in adolescence. If your flares seem to arrive with a rhythm, that rhythm is worth writing down.

Episodes that look random from close up often turn out to have a shape once there is a record of them: a point in a monthly cycle, a change of…

Twenty minutesAnger, alcohol and the bodyMedical and treatmentQur’an 32:9

Anger has a chemistry of its own. There is nothing to pour down the sink and nobody to stop selling it to you, which is why letting it go feels like losing something rather than putting something down.

The lift is real. Heat, clarity, energy, a body that suddenly knows exactly what to do. Take that away and leave a gap where it was, and within a…

Twenty minutesAnger, alcohol and the bodyMedical and treatmentQur’an 13:28

Think of the reaction as a small program sitting quietly, waiting for one particular condition. It is not running all the time, and which condition wakes it is a question with an answer.

Keep a short list for a few weeks. Only what was happening in the ten seconds before: a tone of voice, being interrupted, somebody standing over you…

Twenty minutesThe fear underneath angerTrauma informedQur’an 30:8

Some of the fights you take up for other people are your own old fight, unfinished, borrowed onto somebody else's ground.

The signs are recognisable: the heat is out of proportion, you cannot let it go afterwards, and the person you were defending never asked you to.…

Twenty minutesThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 28:10

Ask what has been done to this person, not only what they have done. Old harm decides which ordinary things now register as a threat.

Reactions that look wildly out of proportion usually are not, once you know what the moment resembled. A hand raised near a face, a certain tone,…

Twenty minutesThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 33:58

Follow the chain. The anger points at a fear, and the fear points at what you believe is at stake. That last thing is what you are actually dealing with.

Once it has passed, ask what you were afraid of in that moment, then ask whether the threat was really there. Being spoken over is not the same as…

Twenty minutesThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 21:87

Getting a child back through the gates is not the same as helping them. Ask what the school day is asking of them that they cannot face yet, and put your effort there.

Attendance is easy to count, which is why plans get built around it. A plan that only presses for attendance leaves the frightening thing exactly…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 13:11

Most of these stories begin with one of four things: a change, a person, an assessment, or a loss. Working out which one tells you what the fear is really about.

A new school, a timetable that split them from their friends, someone who made the corridor unsafe, an exam, a long illness, a death at home, a…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 6:59

Before choosing a method, work out what the avoiding is doing for the person. Two children keeping away from the same building can need opposite things.

A technique that sounds right is not the same as one aimed at whatever is holding the problem in place. Ask what the hours at home actually contain,…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 17:36

When the fear is about being seen, being asked, being judged, you can build the steps out of real moments: the doorway, the corridor, the dining hall, answering once in a lesson.

Fear of a whole building cannot be practised. Fear of walking into the dining hall at half past twelve can. Make each step small enough to be boring…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 90:11

With an older teenager the pull is often not fear at all. The day at home is better: sleep, screens, and friends who are also not going.

Anxiety work goes nowhere against this, because there is little anxiety left to work on. What changes it is the shape of the day, with the good…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 53:39

Where a child is not attending, the adults are often already cross with each other. That argument has to be parked before any plan will hold.

Home thinks the school did not act. The school thinks home is not firm. Both usually have a point, and neither point can be settled quickly enough to…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 11:112

Try saying it out loud: we can leave who was at fault for another day and both work on getting her back in. Most people accept that offer if nobody has to admit anything.

Grievances between families and schools rarely resolve on the timeline a child needs. Naming a goal that sits above the dispute lets everyone move…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 2:197

Staff who think a child is playing them will respond in ways that make school worse. A short explanation of how avoidance actually works changes what happens in the corridor.

Explain the pattern rather than the pupil: the relief that follows getting out of something, and the way that relief quietly books the next absence.…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 17:36

A shortened day, a pass on presenting to the class, a modified deadline, a quiet place at lunch: worth asking for when they let a child stay in the building rather than leave it.

The test for any adjustment is simple. Does it get them into the room and keep them there, or does it save them from the room? A shortened day that…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 90:11

You cannot outbid a bedroom with unlimited gaming and a free afternoon. Free access has to shrink before an earned version means anything at all.

With an older teenager this goes better as a conversation about arrangements than about character: the wifi and the console sit behind the school…

Twenty minutesThe cost of avoidingCBTQur’an 6:35

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.