Practices

Some people genuinely do not feel time passing. There is now, and there is not now, and the hour in between goes missing. That is a difference in perception rather than a comment on how much someone cares.

Worth saying plainly in a family where lateness has turned into a moral argument. A person who is never on time may be honestly surprised each…

Planning does not really happen in your head. Until the week is written somewhere you actually look, you are guessing, however sincere your intentions are.

One calendar rather than four. Paper or phone matters far less than whether you will open it, so choose the one that appears in front of you without…

Urgent means the clock is pushing. Important means it matters to the life you are trying to have. In the moment the two feel identical, and they are not.

Take your list and put one letter beside each thing. U if something real goes wrong today when it slips, I if it moves you towards something you care…

The good place to be is where things matter but nothing is on fire yet. Booking the check-up, planning next term, getting the haircut before it becomes a situation.

None of it feels like an achievement, which is exactly why it gets no credit and keeps slipping. Try counting it as work: the dentist, the form, an…

Instead of guessing what pulls you away, catch it happening. Keep a scrap of paper beside you for a week and note whatever took you off, at the moment it takes you off.

Two words is plenty: phone, hungry, that noise, the thought about Saturday. The writing itself breaks the drift, so some of the benefit arrives…

Sort the work into hardest, middling and easiest, then choose the order on purpose. Easy first for momentum or hard first while you are sharp, both are fine. What is not fine is letting the most interesting thing win by default.

Write the three piles on paper and then pick. If you tend to run out of steam by three in the afternoon, the hard thing belongs in the morning. If…

Work, friends, games and news all happen on the same rectangle, so nothing in your surroundings tells you which one you are in. Software has to do the job the room used to do.

A blocker that shuts the usual sites during your working hours, a tracker that shows you afterwards where the time actually went, or a small app that…

Keep both tools, and settle in advance where each thing goes. The deciding is what wears you out, so make that decision once instead of forty times a week.

The rule can be a single line inside the front cover: if it has a time, calendar; if it has a deadline but no time, list. Then writing things down…

Some jobs never move because they were never yours. Somebody else wanted them and you wrote them down to be kind.

You can usually spot one: the item that has been copied onto three different lists and never once started. The trouble is not that the work is hard.…

For the item that never gets done, make an actual decision: cross it off, or find a way to genuinely want it. Leaving it sitting there is the only option that costs you every single day.

Taking it on often works through a person rather than through the task. You may not care about the paperwork, but you care about whoever is waiting…

Saying no accurately depends on a calendar you actually keep. You cannot check whether Thursday is free if Thursday looks blank when it is not.

This is what makes the fiddly work of maintaining a diary worth doing. Nobody keeps a calendar for the pleasure of keeping one. You keep it so that…

When you agree to something, agree who follows up. Do you tell them if it slips, or do they check in with you?

Most of the hurt around late work comes from nobody having said. You assume they will ask, they assume you will speak up, and the silence in between…

But what if I need it one day? The honest answer is that keeping it has a daily price. A list you cannot find anything in has stopped being a list.

The thing you might want once in two years is sitting on top of the thing you need on Thursday. That holds for a to-do list, a desk and a spare room…

ADHD clutter and hoarding look alike from the doorway and are not the same thing. Many people living among piles would be delighted if the lot vanished overnight.

Hoarding is about not being able to part with things. This is more often about sorting being unbearable, or about keeping something in case it turns…

Distraction and disorder feed each other. Every hunt for the missing keys is a perfect opening for your attention to wander off somewhere more interesting.

Which is why sorting the house out is not a side project to the attention problem. Ten minutes of searching is precisely the dull, shapeless stretch…

Every small snag in a task is an exit. The forgotten password, the missing form, the bit where you are not sure what happens next: each one is a chance to say forget it, I will do this later.

So do the snag hunting before you sit down rather than during. Have the login to hand, the papers in one place, the next step written in words a…

Help lands best at the moment and in the place the behaviour is actually needed. A skill taught in a quiet room on Tuesday rarely turns up in a noisy classroom on Thursday.

Which means the teacher standing there at the time is in the strongest position of anyone, and the parent at the kitchen table is next. Someone…

A school to home report works daily for younger children and weekly for older ones. The point is to close the gap between what happened at school and anything that follows at home.

A young child cannot hold a week of behaviour in mind, so a week later means nothing to them. A teenager can, and daily can feel like surveillance.…

Put behaviours on the report, not grades. Finished the class work, followed the rules, got on with the others, handed the homework in.

A grade is weeks of work, a marking scheme and a bit of luck, and no child can decide on a Tuesday to have a better one. The behaviours underneath it…

Two to four targets is the usual advice and three is plenty. A longer list looks thorough and quietly stops working.

Every extra line is another thing a busy teacher has to notice and rate honestly at the end of a lesson, and another thing the child is meant to hold…