Skip to content

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices

Shame A practitioner Coping, mostly Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 1

Who it is written for · A practitioner

A practitioner 3 Someone I care about 2 My husband or wife 2 Me 1

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Struggling right now 15 Coping, mostly 3 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone

Both of us together 2 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Shame

Medication and how it works 103Systems for daily life 67 Getting assessed and diagnosed 63 Your nervous system 61 What anger actually is 54 Moving your body 48 Equanimity and perspective 46 Get started 44 The fear underneath anger 42 Exercise, food and other supports 41 The moment before you snap 39 Your sense of time 39 Choosing your response 38 Touch and bodywork 38 Feelings and focus 37 Bringing the future closer 36 Treatment and medication 36 When everything feels flat 32 Screens and attention 31 What ADHD actually is 30 Growing empathy 27 Grounding and settling 27 The cost of avoiding 25 Structure and routine 24 What worry does 23 Food, caffeine and fuel 23 Practising under provocation 22 Treatment and medication 20 Cool the body first 20 Emotions as signals 20 Making it stick 19 Breathing 19 What you are actually defending 18 Being seen and judged 17 Righteous anger and perfectionism 16 Breaking the worry loop 14 Shame and stigma 14 Feeling from the inside 12 When you use something to cope 11 When anger turns to harm 11 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Remembering to do it 10 Facing it a step at a time 9 Tolerate distress 7 Self-compassion 7 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Use your strengths 6 Obsessions and compulsions 6 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Shame 3 Panic and the body 3 Question the thought 2 Rest and pacing 2 When you go numb 1 Living with uncertainty 1

Approach

Emotionally focused 2 Trauma informed 1

When

Any ordinary day 1 Under stress 1 Coming and going 1

When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.

Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…

A minuteShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:3

When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.

Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 53:32

You did not choose which things hurt you. Where you are tender was set long before you had any say in it, and the only live question is what you do with it now.

This is worth saying out loud between two people, because each usually thinks their own soft spot is embarrassing and the other's is obvious. Try…

Five minutesShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 30:54

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.