Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

10 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
Theme · Breathing
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 30Grounding and settling 29Choosing your response 28Touch and bodywork 22Staying regulated in conflict 20Your nervous system 19What anger actually is 18The fear underneath anger 15Equanimity and perspective 15Feelings and focus 12Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10Systems for daily life 9Answering bids 9Feeling from the inside 8Practising under provocation 8Moving your body 8What worry does 7Medication and how it works 7Breaking the worry loop 6Making it stick 6Shame 6Affection and touch 6Bringing the future closer 6When everything feels flat 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5Knowing your partner 5Question the thought 5Treatment and medication 5What you are actually defending 5Emotions as signals 4Growing empathy 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Shame and stigma 4Letting it out safely 4Get started 4Being seen and judged 3The cost of avoiding 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3Facing it a step at a time 3Let the wave come 3Listening and understanding 3Working with anger 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Safety and grounding 3Screens and attention 3Your sense of time 2Rebuild trust 2Ride the urge 2Self-compassion 2Meaning after harm 2When anger turns to harm 2When you use something to cope 2Patience and trust 2Act on your values 1What ADHD actually is 1Validate yourself and others 1Treatment and medication 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Structure and routine 1Shared spiritual life 1Remembering to do it 1Care for yourself in loss 1Rest and pacing 1Repair after rupture 1Panic and the body 1Your window of tolerance 1Listen to the body 1
When · Under stress

Breath work goes straight into the body, and for some people that is the problem. If your panic has ever been about not getting enough air, putting your attention on your breathing can set it off rather than settle it.

Asthma, a history of choking or smothering, panic that arrives through the chest: any of these makes the breath a loaded place to put your attention.…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 6:125

For when you are stuck in shutdown there is a faster practice: short sharp exhales driven from the belly, letting each in breath happen by itself, about twenty of them.

It is meant to rouse, so expect to feel more awake and a little buzzy afterwards rather than calm. Twenty is plenty. Sit down before you start so…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 21:87

Breathe in for about five and out for about ten, and do not hold at the top. Go straight from the in breath into the out breath, five to ten times over.

That pause after the inhale feels natural to add, and it can raise your heart rate rather than lowering it, which undoes what you came for. If ten…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:1

Fighting, running and freezing are the ones everybody can name. There is a fourth: going along with things, smoothing them over, making yourself easy to be around so that nothing bad happens.

It gets read as being agreeable, or as a personality, and it is often neither. If you grew up being criticised, or spent years around someone…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 15:97

You are not trying to talk yourself into feeling calm. You are trying to move your body from one setting into another, and the breath is the handle you can reach.

Once the alarm system is running, stress hormones are already in the blood and telling yourself to relax does very little about them. Changing the…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 48:4

Four in, hold four, four out, hold four. The holds are the strong part of this one, and they stay optional every single time.

Some people find the pauses deeply settling. Others meet the edge of what they can tolerate there, especially at the bottom of the exhale. Both are…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 65:7

If you keep only one thing, make the out breath longer than the in breath. Four in and eight out is enough, and nothing clever is needed on top of it.

This is the closest thing to a dependable settling lever. It suits the end of the day, a queue you are stuck in, the ten minutes before sleep. Some…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 94:1

If big breathing feels like too much, make it smaller instead. Breathe so smoothly that the in breath rolls into the out breath with no sound and no edges.

This asks almost nothing of you, and that is the point. Nothing to count, nothing to hold, no depth to reach for. For anyone whose panic runs through…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 20:26

Let the in breath come however it comes, then breathe out through pursed lips as though through a straw for a count of eight, finishing with two more counts through the nose. Three ordinary breaths, then go again.

Three rounds is the usual dose. Notice what is deliberately left uncounted: the inhale. Counting the in breath when someone is already panicking…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 16:53

The soft sound and the feel of this breath in your throat give your attention somewhere to sit. When the mind is loud, something you can hear holds better than something silent.

It is called the victorious breath, and the victory meant is over the noise in your own head rather than over anybody else. The vibration in the…

Five minutesBreathingBody basedQur’an 13:28

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.