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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices
Emotions as signals remove filterMe remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 2Five minutes 1Twenty minutes 1
Who it is written for · Me
A practitioner 5My husband or wife 5Me 4
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 2Struggling right now 2
On your own, or with someone
On my own 3Involves someone else 1
Theme · Emotions as signals
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 30Grounding and settling 29Choosing your response 28Touch and bodywork 22Staying regulated in conflict 20Your nervous system 19What anger actually is 18Equanimity and perspective 15The fear underneath anger 15Feelings and focus 12Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10Systems for daily life 9Answering bids 9Moving your body 8Practising under provocation 8Feeling from the inside 8What worry does 7Medication and how it works 7Bringing the future closer 6Shame 6Breaking the worry loop 6Affection and touch 6Making it stick 6Question the thought 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5Knowing your partner 5When everything feels flat 5Treatment and medication 5What you are actually defending 5Shame and stigma 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Get started 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Letting it out safely 4Growing empathy 4Emotions as signals 4Safety and grounding 3Facing it a step at a time 3Calm the body 3Being seen and judged 3The cost of avoiding 3Screens and attention 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Working with anger 3Name what you feel 3Listening and understanding 3Let the wave come 3Rebuild trust 2Patience and trust 2Meaning after harm 2Self-compassion 2Your sense of time 2Ride the urge 2When you use something to cope 2When anger turns to harm 2Remembering to do it 1Rest and pacing 1Act on your values 1Shared spiritual life 1Structure and routine 1Panic and the body 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Treatment and medication 1Validate yourself and others 1What ADHD actually is 1Your window of tolerance 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Repair after rupture 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 8After a row 7Under stress 4When apart 3

Every feeling comes with something it wants you to do. Catching the move before you make it is most of the skill.

Anger wants to push, fear wants to get out of the room, sadness wants to curl up, shame wants to disappear. None of that is wrong, and the trouble is…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 21:87

Point at the body. 'Your hands went up just then', or 'you put your head in your hands', gives a feeling something solid to stand on.

Feelings argued about in the abstract go round and round. A gesture you both just watched is much harder to dispute, and it opens a door: what was…

A minuteEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 39:23

If the size of the feeling does not match the size of what just happened, it is probably carrying something older into the room.

Feeling has no real sense of when. An old injury arrives in the present body with all its original force, which is why a small remark can flatten…

Five minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 12:84

Going deeper into a feeling only helps if it is being put in order at the same time. Depth without order is just flooding.

So as the feeling rises, keep laying it out: this is what happened, this is what my body did, this is what I was afraid it meant. If your chest is…

Twenty minutesEmotions as signalsEmotionally focusedQur’an 3:154

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.