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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
Knowing your partner remove filterMe remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 3Five minutes 2
Who it is written for · Me
My husband or wife 5Me 5
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 3On my own 2
Theme · Knowing your partner
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 30Grounding and settling 29Choosing your response 28Touch and bodywork 22Staying regulated in conflict 20Your nervous system 19What anger actually is 18The fear underneath anger 15Equanimity and perspective 15Feelings and focus 12Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10Systems for daily life 9Answering bids 9Moving your body 8Feeling from the inside 8Practising under provocation 8Medication and how it works 7What worry does 7Making it stick 6Affection and touch 6Breaking the worry loop 6Bringing the future closer 6Shame 6What you are actually defending 5Question the thought 5Treatment and medication 5When everything feels flat 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5Knowing your partner 5Letting it out safely 4Get started 4Growing empathy 4Emotions as signals 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Posture and how you carry yourself 4Shame and stigma 4Screens and attention 3The cost of avoiding 3Being seen and judged 3Calm the body 3Facing it a step at a time 3Let the wave come 3Listening and understanding 3Name what you feel 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Safety and grounding 3Working with anger 3Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Meaning after harm 2Your sense of time 2When you use something to cope 2Self-compassion 2When anger turns to harm 2Rebuild trust 2Remembering to do it 1Panic and the body 1Listen to the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Shared spiritual life 1Structure and routine 1Treatment and medication 1Validate yourself and others 1What ADHD actually is 1Act on your values 1Your window of tolerance 1Rest and pacing 1Repair after rupture 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 20Under stress 5

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:186

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

If sharing a real feeling is too scary, start smaller: say out loud just how hard it is to say it.

You do not have to leap straight to the deepest disclosure. Naming the difficulty itself, this is really hard for me to talk about, is a first honest…

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 94:5

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.