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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
What you are actually defending remove filterMe remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 4Five minutes 1
Who it is written for · Me
Me 5A practitioner 4Someone I care about 3My husband or wife 1
Where you are right now
Coping, mostly 4Struggling right now 1
On your own, or with someone
On my own 4Involves someone else 1
Theme · What you are actually defending
The moment before you snap 32Cool the body first 30Grounding and settling 29Choosing your response 28Touch and bodywork 22Staying regulated in conflict 20Your nervous system 19What anger actually is 18Equanimity and perspective 15The fear underneath anger 15Feelings and focus 12Tolerate distress 11Breathing 10Systems for daily life 9Answering bids 9Feeling from the inside 8Moving your body 8Practising under provocation 8Medication and how it works 7What worry does 7Bringing the future closer 6Breaking the worry loop 6Making it stick 6Shame 6Affection and touch 6Question the thought 5Treatment and medication 5When everything feels flat 5Food, caffeine and fuel 5What you are actually defending 5Knowing your partner 5Posture and how you carry yourself 4Letting it out safely 4Get started 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Shame and stigma 4Growing empathy 4Emotions as signals 4Screens and attention 3Safety and grounding 3The cost of avoiding 3Exercise, food and other supports 3Obsessions and compulsions 3Working with anger 3Name what you feel 3Facing it a step at a time 3Listening and understanding 3Let the wave come 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 3Being seen and judged 3Calm the body 3When you use something to cope 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Self-compassion 2Meaning after harm 2When anger turns to harm 2Your sense of time 2Rebuild trust 2Shared spiritual life 1Anger, alcohol and the body 1Care for yourself in loss 1Listen to the body 1Panic and the body 1Remembering to do it 1Repair after rupture 1Rest and pacing 1Act on your values 1Structure and routine 1Treatment and medication 1Validate yourself and others 1What ADHD actually is 1Your window of tolerance 1
Approach
Mindfulness 3Core 2
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 13Under stress 5After a row 2Coming and going 1Something good 1In a change 1

Disrespect is a paper tiger. It comes at you looking like something, and it has never once actually done you any damage.

Worth noticing what your body does anyway. The heart goes, the jaw sets, and you get ready as though something physical were about to happen. The…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 25:63

When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?

Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 12:92

Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.

This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 2:206

Not understanding what is happening frightens a person before it angers them. If you flare up when a situation is unclear, you are meeting something very old in yourself rather than a fault you invented.

Watch the order of it next time. First the blank, the not knowing what this means or where it is going, then a tightening in the chest or jaw, then…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 17:36

The aim is not to work out the answer. It is to keep moving while the answer is missing, and to find that the fear does not have to run the day.

When something is unsettled, your mind hands you one job after another: replay it, check it, decide what they really meant. You can put those down…

Five minutesWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 3:154

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