Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

9 practices
How long you have · A minute
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Breathing
Staying regulated in conflict 46The moment before you snap 39Choosing your response 36Cool the body first 33What anger actually is 25Your nervous system 24Grounding and settling 24Medication and how it works 23Bringing the future closer 22Systems for daily life 22Answering bids 22The fear underneath anger 21Get started 20Equanimity and perspective 17Your sense of time 15Fondness and admiration 15Affection and touch 14Knowing your partner 14Practising under provocation 14Treatment and medication 14Growing empathy 13Making it stick 13Repair after rupture 13Touch and bodywork 12Structure and routine 12Feelings and focus 12Food, caffeine and fuel 11Gratitude 9Breathing 9Listening and understanding 8When everything feels flat 8Exercise, food and other supports 8Being seen and judged 8Remembering to do it 7What ADHD actually is 7Moving your body 7Tolerate distress 7Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Shared spiritual life 6What worry does 6What you are actually defending 6Rituals of connection 6Treatment and medication 6Rebuilding trust 5Screens and attention 5Shame and stigma 5Posture and how you carry yourself 5Feeling from the inside 4Question the thought 4Self-compassion 4Emotions as signals 3Safety and grounding 3Name what you feel 3Ride the urge 2Facing it a step at a time 2Notice the pattern and flex 2When you use something to cope 2Meaning after harm 2Calm the body 2The cost of avoiding 2Shame 2Working with anger 2Breaking the worry loop 2Your worth is not conditional 2Patience and trust 2Let the wave come 2Hold a boundary 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Obsessions and compulsions 2Validate yourself and others 2Anger, alcohol and the body 1Rest and pacing 1Panic and the body 1When you go numb 1Your window of tolerance 1Listen to the body 1Keep the bond 1Help someone grieving 1Get it out of your head 1Act on your values 1Face it gently 1Letting it out safely 1Care for yourself in loss 1Ask and say no well 1
When

Breath work goes straight into the body, and for some people that is the problem. If your panic has ever been about not getting enough air, putting your attention on your breathing can set it off rather than settle it.

Asthma, a history of choking or smothering, panic that arrives through the chest: any of these makes the breath a loaded place to put your attention.…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 6:125

The famous count is not automatically your count. One teacher finds that adding a pause after the inhale wakes her up, while the plain long exhale has her asleep within three breaths.

Protocols get passed around because they worked for someone, often someone with a large audience. That is not the same as fitting you. Keep the shape…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 3:191

When you are flat rather than wound up, try this. Rub your palms together until they feel awake, let them rest, then breathe in as your arms lift and out as they lower, two or three times.

Sluggish, heavy, far away: those states rarely respond to more calming. A bit of friction in the hands, some movement through the arms and a fuller…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 20:25

For when you are stuck in shutdown there is a faster practice: short sharp exhales driven from the belly, letting each in breath happen by itself, about twenty of them.

It is meant to rouse, so expect to feel more awake and a little buzzy afterwards rather than calm. Twenty is plenty. Sit down before you start so…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 21:87

The fast forceful practices are not for everyone. With high blood pressure, heart trouble or glaucoma, leave them out and use the slow ones, which carry no such warning.

Rapid breathing with effort behind it raises pressure inside the chest, the head and the eyes for as long as you keep it going. The gentler lift,…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 32:9

Any breathing instruction that reaches you through a screen or a book comes from someone who cannot see you. Keep the final say over what your body does.

Recorded instructions have to be general. You are the one who knows that your chest tightens on holds, or that counting makes you anxious. Treat each…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 26:13

Breath is the quickest way you have of turning your own nervous system up or down. Nothing else you can simply decide to do works on that timescale.

Your heart rate already rises slightly as you breathe in and falls as you breathe out, on every breath. So changing how you breathe changes something…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 48:4

The rapid belly driven breath with pauses added is the strongest thing in this set. Not for high blood pressure, glaucoma, pregnancy or your period, and stop at once with pain or dizziness.

It has its uses for the flat, heavy state that comes over people after lunch or during a long low patch, because it pushes upwards rather than down.…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 38:72

End a practice with a question rather than a conclusion. What do you notice works better than telling someone what should have happened.

If you announce that an exercise is calming, most people will agree with you whether or not it was. Asking leaves room for the honest answer,…

A minuteBreathingBody basedQur’an 50:16

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.