Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

What you are actually defending A minute Me Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 6 Five minutes 16 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for · Me

Me 6 A practitioner 5 Someone I care about 5 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 5 Struggling right now 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 5 Involves someone else 1

Theme · What you are actually defending

Staying regulated in conflict 46 The moment before you snap 39 Choosing your response 36 Cool the body first 33 What anger actually is 25 Your nervous system 24 Grounding and settling 24 Medication and how it works 23 Bringing the future closer 22 Systems for daily life 22 Answering bids 22 The fear underneath anger 21 Get started 20 Equanimity and perspective 17 Your sense of time 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Affection and touch 14 Knowing your partner 14 Practising under provocation 14 Treatment and medication 14 Growing empathy 13 Making it stick 13 Repair after rupture 13 Touch and bodywork 12 Structure and routine 12 Feelings and focus 12 Food, caffeine and fuel 11 Gratitude 9 Breathing 9 Listening and understanding 8 When everything feels flat 8 Exercise, food and other supports 8 Being seen and judged 8 Remembering to do it 7 What ADHD actually is 7 Moving your body 7 Tolerate distress 7 Getting assessed and diagnosed 7 Shared spiritual life 6 What worry does 6 What you are actually defending 6 Rituals of connection 6 Treatment and medication 6 Rebuilding trust 5 Screens and attention 5 Shame and stigma 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 5 Feeling from the inside 4 Question the thought 4 Self-compassion 4 Emotions as signals 3 Safety and grounding 3 Name what you feel 3 Ride the urge 2 Facing it a step at a time 2 Notice the pattern and flex 2 When you use something to cope 2 Meaning after harm 2 Calm the body 2 The cost of avoiding 2 Shame 2 Working with anger 2 Breaking the worry loop 2 Your worth is not conditional 2 Patience and trust 2 Let the wave come 2 Hold a boundary 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Rest and pacing 1 Panic and the body 1 When you go numb 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Listen to the body 1 Keep the bond 1 Help someone grieving 1 Get it out of your head 1 Act on your values 1 Face it gently 1 Letting it out safely 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Ask and say no well 1

Approach

Mindfulness 3 Core 3

When

Under stress 4 Any ordinary day 2

Respect comes from the Latin for looking, with the prefix meaning again. It is literally the second look, the head that turns as somebody important walks past.

Knowing that does something useful. A word that felt close to sacred turns into a plain social behaviour you can examine: who gets looked at twice,…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 31:18

Disrespect is a paper tiger. It comes at you looking like something, and it has never once actually done you any damage.

Worth noticing what your body does anyway. The heart goes, the jaw sets, and you get ready as though something physical were about to happen. The…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 25:63

When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?

Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingCoreQur’an 12:92

Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.

This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 2:206

Your mind is always slightly behind what is happening. Reality moves and you are the response, which leaves you permanently a step late and permanently not quite sure.

Put that way, uncertainty is not a flaw in your thinking, it is the position you are standing in. You are flying into the next moment without having…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 16:23

Not understanding what is happening frightens a person before it angers them. If you flare up when a situation is unclear, you are meeting something very old in yourself rather than a fault you invented.

Watch the order of it next time. First the blank, the not knowing what this means or where it is going, then a tightening in the chest or jaw, then…

A minuteWhat you are actually defendingMindfulnessQur’an 17:36

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.