Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

58 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Bringing the future closer
Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89The moment before you snap 88Choosing your response 81Get started 73Grounding and settling 67Equanimity and perspective 66Moving your body 63Cool the body first 61Staying regulated in conflict 60Food, caffeine and fuel 59Feelings and focus 58The fear underneath anger 58Bringing the future closer 58Your sense of time 58Touch and bodywork 56Getting assessed and diagnosed 50What ADHD actually is 48Practising under provocation 46Exercise, food and other supports 46When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 42Screens and attention 40Breathing 34Growing empathy 34Making it stick 30Shame and stigma 30Being seen and judged 30Structure and routine 28Tolerate distress 26Remembering to do it 26Treatment and medication 25Knowing your partner 25What worry does 25Answering bids 24Feeling from the inside 23What you are actually defending 23Breaking the worry loop 23Emotions as signals 22When you use something to cope 22Repair after rupture 19Facing it a step at a time 18Shared spiritual life 17Rebuilding trust 17Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Obsessions and compulsions 14Listening and understanding 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Rituals of connection 13Shame 13Posture and how you carry yourself 13Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Use your strengths 10Gratitude 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8The cost of avoiding 7Living with uncertainty 5Rest and pacing 5When you go numb 5When anger turns to harm 5Safety and grounding 4Letting it out safely 4Meaning after harm 4Working with anger 3Your worth is not conditional 3Panic and the body 3Act on your values 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Face it gently 2Patience and trust 2Work with your brain 2Hold a boundary 2Keep the bond 2Care for yourself in loss 2Ride the urge 2Validate yourself and others 2Listen to the body 2Get it out of your head 2Help someone grieving 2Find meaning 2Ask and say no well 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Your window of tolerance 2
When

Do not ask whether you feel like it. The answer is no, today and every other day. Ask how you will feel about it later.

The first question has only one answer and it never varies, which is why it ends up deciding everything. The second is answerable and it moves with…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 18:46

The job will not feel more pleasant on Thursday. It will be the same job, done tired, in less time, with somebody waiting. Later is not the easier option. It only looks that way from here.

There is a quiet assumption that willingness will turn up in the meantime. It does not. What changes is the conditions, and they get worse. Saying…

A minuteBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 16:96

Most time strategies are doing one of three jobs: showing you time passing, interrupting you when a moment arrives, or laying the days out ahead of you. When something is not working, ask which of the three is missing rather than hunting for a new app.

Have a look at what you already use. A clock in view and a timer running are the first job. An alarm that cuts through whatever you are absorbed in…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 59:18

If you lose track of how long you have been at something, a clock you can see is the fix. If you get pulled under and surface far too late, what you need is an interruption, not a clock.

Alarms and schedules are doing different jobs again. An alarm is there because noticing the time yourself is the bit that fails when you are…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 21:37

Do not plan to resist the phone. Put it in another room before you sit down, close the tabs, silence the chat app. Resisting works sometimes, and it costs you something every single time.

The five minutes before you start are worth more than any amount of determination once you are underway. Decide what is coming into the room with you…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 75:20

Your ability to hold off a distraction is at its worst near the end of a work block, not at the start. Set the room up for the tired version of you, because that is the one who will be sitting in it.

In practice the hard removals happen in advance, while you still feel capable. Phone away before you begin, water and food already to hand, the next…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:197

The towel left on the floor is the model. Tomorrow it is cold and unpleasant to use, and that is the whole of it. Short wait, happens every time, nothing terrible.

When you are building a consequence yourself, aim for those qualities rather than for severity. Something that lands within a day or two. Something…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:41

Smoking sends its bill decades later. Homework skipped at fourteen lands at university applications. January's receipt matters in April of the following year. The few seconds of relief are always right here.

Lining these up next to each other makes something clear that willpower talk hides. You are not being asked to want the far thing slightly more. You…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 12:48

Bring the cost forward into today. No screen until the hour of work is done, rather than a poor grade three months from now.

Same idea for adults: you do not leave the desk until the hour is in, the film waits until the form is filed. It works because it stops asking you to…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 2:148

If the deadline is six weeks off and you can really only see three days ahead, do not try to grow the horizon. Move the deadline closer with a checkpoint.

A five minute catch-up with someone every couple of days does more than a beautifully drawn plan for the whole six weeks. In work with little…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

When you ask a manager for regular check-ins, ask for them as a way of staying pointed in the right direction. That is a different conversation from asking to be watched.

Something like: could we take five minutes twice a week, so I can be sure I am working on what matters most to you. You are the one proposing it, so…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

'It's bad for your health' and 'grades matter later' move nobody, least of all someone who has never seen what either one looks like.

If you want a future to carry any weight, it has to be pictured rather than stated. What does the day look like. Who is in the room. What is…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 87:17

Write it up before you leave. One salesman, knowing full well he will not remember the visit an hour later, does his notes in the car with the engine still off.

The strength of it is that the trigger is fixed and physical. Sitting down in the car is the cue, and the notes happen before the key turns. No…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

You get three goes at thinking about something: before it starts, somewhere in the middle, and once it is over. Most of us only ever use the last one, which is the least useful of them.

Before is a pause to look at the options. In the middle is a quick check on how it is actually going and whether anything needs changing. Afterwards…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 9:105

The first version of the list will be alright. It becomes good over a couple of years, one forgotten item at a time.

So when you arrive somewhere without the thing you needed, add a line rather than carrying the annoyance around with you. That turns a bad morning…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 84:19

A long project gives you no feedback until it is too late to use any. Put checkpoints in yourself: with the people involved, or just with you and a Monday morning.

Pick the dates while you are writing the plan, not later when you happen to remember. Each one turns a single verdict at the end into several small…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 29:69

At a check-in, only look. Where am I, what has slipped, what have I still not heard back on. Skim the inbox without opening anything.

The moment you answer one message the review is over, and you will not notice it ending. Keep a sheet beside you and write down what you spot instead…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:40

Once a day, look at the whole day before it starts eating you. What is on, what is urgent, what is this day actually best used for. Morning or evening, whichever you will really do.

It takes about five minutes and it is the difference between a day you chose and a day chosen for you by whoever emailed first. Some people prefer…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 94:7

Before you hand it over, read the original request again. Not your memory of it. The actual words.

Almost nobody enjoys this, which is why almost nobody does it. But work that is good except for the two things nobody remembered is the commonest…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 53:41

Ask people how it went. How was that meeting, how am I doing, what did you make of it. Nobody enjoys asking, and the information is not available any other way.

Ask one specific person about one specific thing rather than the room in general. If your read on yourself has been bent out of shape by years of…

Five minutesBringing the future closerADHD skillsQur’an 65:3

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.