Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

50 practices
How long you have
Who it is written for · Me
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · Getting assessed and diagnosed
Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89The moment before you snap 88Choosing your response 81Get started 73Grounding and settling 67Equanimity and perspective 66Moving your body 63Cool the body first 61Staying regulated in conflict 60Food, caffeine and fuel 59Feelings and focus 58The fear underneath anger 58Bringing the future closer 58Your sense of time 58Touch and bodywork 56Getting assessed and diagnosed 50What ADHD actually is 48Practising under provocation 46Exercise, food and other supports 46When everything feels flat 44Treatment and medication 42Screens and attention 40Growing empathy 34Breathing 34Being seen and judged 30Making it stick 30Shame and stigma 30Structure and routine 28Remembering to do it 26Tolerate distress 26What worry does 25Knowing your partner 25Treatment and medication 25Answering bids 24What you are actually defending 23Feeling from the inside 23Breaking the worry loop 23Emotions as signals 22When you use something to cope 22Repair after rupture 19Facing it a step at a time 18Rebuilding trust 17Shared spiritual life 17Affection and touch 15Fondness and admiration 15Obsessions and compulsions 14Rituals of connection 13Listening and understanding 13Posture and how you carry yourself 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 13Shame 13Self-compassion 12Question the thought 11Use your strengths 10Gratitude 9Anger, alcohol and the body 8The cost of avoiding 7When anger turns to harm 5Rest and pacing 5Living with uncertainty 5When you go numb 5Safety and grounding 4Meaning after harm 4Letting it out safely 4Let the wave come 3Notice the pattern and flex 3Working with anger 3Calm the body 3Your worth is not conditional 3Act on your values 3Name what you feel 3Panic and the body 3Help someone grieving 2Keep the bond 2Reading, numbers and learning differences 2Listen to the body 2Patience and trust 2Ride the urge 2Get it out of your head 2Validate yourself and others 2Your window of tolerance 2Work with your brain 2Find meaning 2Face it gently 2Care for yourself in loss 2Ask and say no well 2Hold a boundary 2
When

A man who could not get himself to bed kept his bedtime alarm upstairs, where his wife and baby were sleeping. Switching it off meant climbing the stairs, and leaving it meant waking them. The walk to the alarm was the thing he was trying to do anyway.

That is the part worth copying. Put the cue somewhere that costs something to answer, and make answering it land you where you meant to be. Anything…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 58:11

Time management is only the fit between tasks and the hours you have: planning them against time, then doing them against time. It is a skill with parts, not a verdict on what kind of person you are.

Most people arrive having already decided they are lazy, and that decision is doing them no good at all. Describing it mechanically gives you both…

Five minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 49:13

If you cannot remember much about being six, you are in the majority. Early childhood comes back poorly for most adults, while the teenage years are far easier to describe.

So do not sit in an assessment feeling you have failed a test because the early years are a blur. Bring what you can find instead: old school…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:286

A list of symptoms on its own does not make a diagnosis. What counts is that they cost you something real in at least two areas of ordinary life.

That means work or school, money, home, friendships, driving, getting through the week. Almost everyone loses keys and drifts off in meetings, so the…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 24:61

Much of the symptom wording was written with children in mind. If a question sounds like it is about someone climbing the furniture, translate it into your adult life rather than answering no.

Restlessness at forty is rarely running about. It is being unable to sit through a film, the leg going under the table, two jobs left out of boredom.…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 91:8

Attention and impulse problems that appear for the first time in middle age or later are not ADHD arriving late. They need a doctor to look, not a prescription.

Several conditions affecting the frontal lobes can show up first as new disinhibition, poor judgement or a change in personality, and some are…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 21:7

Ask about the family properly: parents, brothers and sisters, children, then aunts, uncles and grandparents. Include drinking and drug use, in them as well as in the person sitting with you.

This tends to be the highest yield few minutes of an assessment, because the condition runs strongly in families. Relatives who were never assessed…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 12:87

Ask whether anyone kept the old school reports. The same lines turn up generation after generation: not working to potential, talks too much, never has the right books with him.

They were written by teachers who had never heard of ADHD, about children nobody was going to assess, and that is exactly what makes them worth…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 96:5

If someone is about to send off a saliva kit to fill in the family history they never had, have a conversation first. These tests hand back more than health information, and they hand it back with nobody in the room.

A father who is not the father, a sibling nobody mentioned, a donor conception no one planned to explain: these arrive by email on an ordinary…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 42:38

'I am disorganised' cannot be treated. 'The post piles up on the hall table until something ends up with a debt collector' can. Spend the time getting the problem down to something that specific.

Push for the particulars: which task, which moment, what was happening just before, what they did instead. Where you can, ask someone who was there…

Twenty minutesGetting assessed and diagnosedADHD skillsQur’an 2:31

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.