Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

89 practices

What anger actually is Me Clear all

How long you have

A minute 25 Five minutes 50 Twenty minutes 9 Longer 5

Who it is written for · Me

A practitioner 97 Me 89 Someone I care about 69 My husband or wife 9

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 50 Struggling right now 34 Getting ready for something 5

On your own, or with someone

On my own 78 Involves someone else 8 Both of us together 3

Theme · What anger actually is

Medication and how it works 155Your nervous system 113Systems for daily life 103What anger actually is 89 The moment before you snap 88 Choosing your response 81 Get started 73 Grounding and settling 67 Equanimity and perspective 66 Moving your body 63 Cool the body first 61 Staying regulated in conflict 60 Food, caffeine and fuel 59 Feelings and focus 58 The fear underneath anger 58 Bringing the future closer 58 Your sense of time 58 Touch and bodywork 56 Getting assessed and diagnosed 50 What ADHD actually is 48 Practising under provocation 46 Exercise, food and other supports 46 When everything feels flat 44 Treatment and medication 42 Screens and attention 40 Breathing 34 Growing empathy 34 Making it stick 30 Shame and stigma 30 Being seen and judged 30 Structure and routine 28 Tolerate distress 26 Remembering to do it 26 Treatment and medication 25 Knowing your partner 25 What worry does 25 Answering bids 24 Feeling from the inside 23 What you are actually defending 23 Breaking the worry loop 23 Emotions as signals 22 When you use something to cope 22 Repair after rupture 19 Facing it a step at a time 18 Shared spiritual life 17 Rebuilding trust 17 Affection and touch 15 Fondness and admiration 15 Obsessions and compulsions 14 Listening and understanding 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Rituals of connection 13 Shame 13 Posture and how you carry yourself 13 Self-compassion 12 Question the thought 11 Use your strengths 10 Gratitude 9 Anger, alcohol and the body 8 The cost of avoiding 7 Living with uncertainty 5 Rest and pacing 5 When you go numb 5 When anger turns to harm 5 Safety and grounding 4 Letting it out safely 4 Meaning after harm 4 Working with anger 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Act on your values 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Name what you feel 3 Calm the body 3 Let the wave come 3 Face it gently 2 Patience and trust 2 Work with your brain 2 Hold a boundary 2 Keep the bond 2 Care for yourself in loss 2 Ride the urge 2 Validate yourself and others 2 Listen to the body 2 Get it out of your head 2 Help someone grieving 2 Find meaning 2 Ask and say no well 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Your window of tolerance 2

When

Any ordinary day 48 After a row 20 Under stress 18 In a change 2 When apart 1

Live under enough strain for long enough and anger stops being an event. It settles into a new normal, and it can feel as though your character has changed.

Ask what has been running in the background: money, pain, night shifts, a job that grinds, somebody ill at home. When those ease the baseline often…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:43

Your family had its own rules about anger, quite apart from anything cultural. Those are the ones that shaped you, and they can be renegotiated.

Name two of them plainly. Nobody leaves the table. Whoever shouts loudest wins. We do not mention it the next day. Then ask which you still want.…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 2:263

Sometimes the row is not really about the row. Some people reach for conflict because it is the one thing that makes them feel properly awake.

If you notice you feel sharp and alive during an argument and flat afterwards, that is worth sitting with rather than being ashamed of. The need…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 70:19

Before treating a temper as a character problem, check the body. Poor sleep, hunger, a new medication, drinking, a head injury and a number of neurological conditions all show up as a short fuse.

This matters most when the change is recent. Somebody even tempered for forty years who is now flying off at nothing has usually got something…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:37

Anger moves from person to person in a house, and so does steadiness. Working on your own reactions was never a private project.

You are one of the conditions everyone around you is responding to. When your fuse lengthens, the number of moments that turn into an incident drops…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 59:10

Get the shouting and the slammed doors down first. The deeper questions about where all this came from will keep, and they are hard to think about while incidents are still happening weekly.

Starting at the practical end can feel shallow. It is really a sequence. Containment buys the quiet that anything slower needs, and plain measures…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:154

The energy behind your anger is not waste. People who feel strongly about what is wrong are often the ones who end up changing something.

This matters because going flat is not a goal many people will accept, and they are right not to. Ask what your anger keeps insisting on, then find a…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:39

The years you spent angry are not written off. The drive that wrecked things is the same drive available now for putting things right.

This is not a way of saying the damage was worth it. It is about what is still in your hands. People who have hurt others through their temper often…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:40

At the start the anger drives and you are in the passenger seat. With practice you get to take the wheel, though the engine stays the same engine.

Nobody makes that move in one go. It tends to arrive in stages: first you only see it afterwards, then you catch it as it happens, then you catch it…

LongerWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 12:53

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.