Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Tolerate distress Someone I care about Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 1 Twenty minutes 1 Longer 1

Who it is written for · Someone I care about

A practitioner 12 Me 11 Someone I care about 5

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 3 Struggling right now 1 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 4 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Tolerate distress

Medication and how it works 90 Systems for daily life 86 Your nervous system 66 Moving your body 55 Your sense of time 52 Exercise, food and other supports 52 What ADHD actually is 44 What anger actually is 41 Treatment and medication 34 Screens and attention 33 Bringing the future closer 32 Get started 29 Structure and routine 27 Reading, numbers and learning differences 27 What worry does 24 Equanimity and perspective 24 Shame and stigma 24 Grounding and settling 23 The cost of avoiding 22 Food, caffeine and fuel 22 The fear underneath anger 21 Breathing 19 Remembering to do it 18 Breaking the worry loop 16 When you use something to cope 15 What you are actually defending 14 Making it stick 13 Cool the body first 13 The moment before you snap 12 Growing empathy 12 Feelings and focus 12 Facing it a step at a time 10 Righteous anger and perfectionism 9 Choosing your response 8 Self-compassion 7 Use your strengths 6 When everything feels flat 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Tolerate distress 5 Being seen and judged 5 Emotions as signals 5 Shame 5 Obsessions and compulsions 4 When anger turns to harm 4 Touch and bodywork 3 Practising under provocation 2 Getting assessed and diagnosed 2 Question the thought 2 Rest and pacing 1 Feeling from the inside 1

Approach

DBT skills 3 Body based 2

When · Any ordinary day

Under stress 6 Any ordinary day 5 After a row 4

Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.

Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 52:48

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

A hard feeling is not damage and it is not a bad attitude. It is a feeling, meant to be felt, and the only real question is at what pace.

Plenty of people were raised to treat their own sadness or anger as a failure of character, so the feeling arrives and shame arrives just behind it.…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 21:83

Before you go anywhere near the hard memory, you need to be able to stay in your own body while something difficult is happening in it. That capacity is part of the work, not a delay before it starts.

Phase based approaches put this first for a plain reason: people who cannot bear the arousal either drop out or push through and come away worse. If…

LongerTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 3:200

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.