Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

Shame A minute Someone I care about Clear all

How long you have · A minute

A minute 4 Five minutes 3 Twenty minutes 2 Longer 1

Who it is written for · Someone I care about

A practitioner 5 Someone I care about 4 Me 2 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 2 Struggling right now 2

On your own, or with someone

Both of us together 3 On my own 1

Theme · Shame

Cool the body first 26 Systems for daily life 24 Grounding and settling 24 The fear underneath anger 22 Your nervous system 21 Your sense of time 16 What anger actually is 16 Bringing the future closer 15 Medication and how it works 14 Structure and routine 13 The moment before you snap 12 Equanimity and perspective 12 Moving your body 9 Exercise, food and other supports 9 What ADHD actually is 8 The cost of avoiding 8 Screens and attention 7 Growing empathy 7 Choosing your response 7 Remembering to do it 7 Making it stick 7 Breathing 7 Tolerate distress 7 Treatment and medication 6 Food, caffeine and fuel 6 What worry does 6 What you are actually defending 5 Shame and stigma 5 Get started 5 Practising under provocation 4 Shame 4 When everything feels flat 4 Self-compassion 3 When you use something to cope 3 When anger turns to harm 2 Breaking the worry loop 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Obsessions and compulsions 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Feelings and focus 2 Feeling from the inside 2 Facing it a step at a time 2 Emotions as signals 2 Touch and bodywork 1 Getting assessed and diagnosed 1 Help someone grieving 1 Letting it out safely 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1

Approach

Trauma informed 3 Emotionally focused 1

When

Under stress 2 Coming and going 1 Any ordinary day 1

When someone tells you they have failed, the most useful thing you can do is nothing clever. Let your face stay soft and keep looking at them.

Shame is braced for disgust, so it reads your face before it hears your words. A quick reassurance can even land as a rush to move on. Slower is…

A minuteShameEmotionally focusedQur’an 93:3

Shame is visible before it is spoken. Shallow breath, eyes down, shoulders curling in, a voice gone small: the body says it first.

Learn your own version so you can catch it early, and learn to spot it in others without pointing at it like a diagnosis. When you notice the…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 20:121

When someone's shame fills the room, check your own state before you say anything. If you start to shrink, or to worry that you are handling this badly, they will feel it.

Shame is catching. The particular risk is a quiet spiral of your own, along the lines of I am no good at this, which pulls you out of the room at the…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 53:32

With someone carrying old shame, ask about the closeness itself. Is it alright that I am sitting here with you? Would a bit more space help? Then adjust, and let them see you adjust.

Small changes work best. Shifting your chair back slightly, looking away for a moment, softening your voice, then checking what that was like for…

A minuteShameTrauma informedQur’an 20:122

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.