Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

7 practices

What anger actually is Twenty minutes Someone I care about Clear all

How long you have · Twenty minutes

A minute 16 Five minutes 42 Twenty minutes 7 Longer 4

Who it is written for · Someone I care about

Me 9 A practitioner 9 Someone I care about 7 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 4 Struggling right now 2 Getting ready for something 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 5 Both of us together 1 Involves someone else 1

Theme · What anger actually is

Systems for daily life 37 Moving your body 26 Medication and how it works 20 Screens and attention 16 What ADHD actually is 15 The cost of avoiding 15 Treatment and medication 14 Reading, numbers and learning differences 12 Your nervous system 11 Your sense of time 10 Get started 10 Exercise, food and other supports 8 Feelings and focus 8 Bringing the future closer 7 What anger actually is 7 Breaking the worry loop 6 Grounding and settling 6 Remembering to do it 5 Breathing 5 Cool the body first 5 Shame and stigma 5 Food, caffeine and fuel 5 Facing it a step at a time 4 When you use something to cope 4 The fear underneath anger 4 Anger, alcohol and the body 3 Structure and routine 3 The moment before you snap 3 What worry does 3 When everything feels flat 2 Letting it out safely 2 Equanimity and perspective 2 Touch and bodywork 2 Tolerate distress 2 Shame 2 Righteous anger and perfectionism 2 Making it stick 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Use your strengths 2 Getting assessed and diagnosed 1 What you are actually defending 1 Obsessions and compulsions 1 Rest and pacing 1 Being seen and judged 1 Choosing your response 1 Growing empathy 1

When

Any ordinary day 6 After a row 1

Anger feels righteous while it lasts. The useful moment comes later, when the regret shows up and the story has gone quiet.

Nobody changes course mid-shout, and pressing then only adds fuel. Hours or a day afterwards there is usually a stretch where a person is…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:87

If you grew up where the threat was real, your reading of a raised voice is not a distortion. It is accurate to somewhere you used to be.

So the work is not correcting a mistake. It is learning to tell one setting from another, which is slower and needs practising in daylight rather…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 42:39

For most people anger is weather that passes. For some it is closer to climate: quicker to arrive, bigger when it lands, slower to leave.

Knowing which you are changes what you plan for. Weather can be waited out. Climate needs arrangements: sleep kept regular, fewer things stacked on…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:154

Live under enough strain for long enough and anger stops being an event. It settles into a new normal, and it can feel as though your character has changed.

Ask what has been running in the background: money, pain, night shifts, a job that grinds, somebody ill at home. When those ease the baseline often…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 7:43

Your family had its own rules about anger, quite apart from anything cultural. Those are the ones that shaped you, and they can be renegotiated.

Name two of them plainly. Nobody leaves the table. Whoever shouts loudest wins. We do not mention it the next day. Then ask which you still want.…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 2:263

Sometimes the row is not really about the row. Some people reach for conflict because it is the one thing that makes them feel properly awake.

If you notice you feel sharp and alive during an argument and flat afterwards, that is worth sitting with rather than being ashamed of. The need…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 70:19

Before treating a temper as a character problem, check the body. Poor sleep, hunger, a new medication, drinking, a head injury and a number of neurological conditions all show up as a short fuse.

This matters most when the change is recent. Somebody even tempered for forty years who is now flying off at nothing has usually got something…

Twenty minutesWhat anger actually isCoreQur’an 21:37

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.