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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

46 practices
Cool the body first remove filterSomeone I care about remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 26Five minutes 14Twenty minutes 5Longer 1
Who it is written for · Someone I care about
A practitioner 65Me 61Someone I care about 46
Where you are right now
Struggling right now 25Coping, mostly 13Getting ready for something 8
On your own, or with someone
On my own 41Involves someone else 3Both of us together 2
Theme · Cool the body first
Systems for daily life 110Medication and how it works 109Your nervous system 94Moving your body 70What anger actually is 69What ADHD actually is 61Your sense of time 60Exercise, food and other supports 58Grounding and settling 58Treatment and medication 54Screens and attention 49The fear underneath anger 48Equanimity and perspective 48Cool the body first 46The cost of avoiding 41Bringing the future closer 39Shame and stigma 34What worry does 32Get started 31Reading, numbers and learning differences 30Structure and routine 30Breathing 28Feelings and focus 27The moment before you snap 27Food, caffeine and fuel 25Breaking the worry loop 24Remembering to do it 24What you are actually defending 22Facing it a step at a time 18Making it stick 18When you use something to cope 17Tolerate distress 15Choosing your response 15Growing empathy 15When everything feels flat 14When anger turns to harm 13Righteous anger and perfectionism 12Self-compassion 11Shame 10Anger, alcohol and the body 8Emotions as signals 8Getting assessed and diagnosed 7Use your strengths 7Practising under provocation 6Obsessions and compulsions 5Being seen and judged 5Touch and bodywork 4Letting it out safely 4Feeling from the inside 3Help someone grieving 2Question the thought 2Rest and pacing 2Living with uncertainty 1
Approach
Body based 41Core 5
When
Under stress 26Any ordinary day 13After a row 7

Anger numbs. If it is doing the work of a painkiller for you, it will be hard to put down while the pain underneath is still untreated.

Ask what tends to be there in the half hour before you flare: a bit of shame, feeling small, an old fear about being left. The anger often arrives to…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstCoreQur’an 94:1

Squeeze the hand, hold it for a few seconds, then let it go slowly. The letting go is where the calm is, and it works better once you have practised the long version.

Full muscle relaxation, working through the body group by group, takes about twenty minutes and is worth doing a handful of times. Once your body…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 20:14

Shouting it out does not empty the tank. Going over it loudly, in your head or at somebody, tends to keep the anger topped up rather than draining it.

There is a difference between letting pressure out of the body and rehearsing the grievance. A walk, a swim, hard cleaning, prayer: all of that…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 89:27

Anger leaves fuel in the body with nowhere to go. Spend it on something physical, without replaying the argument while you do.

This is not getting it off your chest. The target is the surplus energy, so stairs, a brisk walk, or a hard ten minutes of almost anything will do…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 28:73

Movement can settle you or wind you further up, and the difference is mostly what your mind is doing while you move.

Pacing the kitchen while you build the case against someone keeps the whole system revved. The same twenty minutes spent counting breaths or noticing…

Twenty minutesCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 13:28

Automatic is not the enemy. An out of date automatic is. The aim is to practise the calmer response until it runs on its own, the way the old one already does.

At the start it feels artificial, and it should. You are choosing deliberately what the other response does for free. Give it enough repetitions and…

LongerCool the body firstBody basedQur’an 33:42

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.