Skip to content

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

Tolerate distress Five minutes Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have · Five minutes

A minute 2 Five minutes 4 Twenty minutes 5 Longer 1

Who it is written for

A practitioner 4 Me 4 Someone I care about 1

Where you are right now

Coping, mostly 2 Getting ready for something 1 Struggling right now 1

On your own, or with someone

On my own 3 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Tolerate distress

Medication and how it works 99 Your nervous system 54 Getting assessed and diagnosed 43 Systems for daily life 36 Exercise, food and other supports 35 What anger actually is 35 Your sense of time 35 Get started 33 Food, caffeine and fuel 29 What ADHD actually is 28 Equanimity and perspective 27 The moment before you snap 26 When everything feels flat 23 Screens and attention 23 Choosing your response 23 Treatment and medication 22 Bringing the future closer 22 Practising under provocation 22 Touch and bodywork 22 What worry does 20 Grounding and settling 19 The fear underneath anger 17 Moving your body 17 Shame and stigma 15 Reading, numbers and learning differences 14 Being seen and judged 14 Cool the body first 13 Structure and routine 13 Remembering to do it 11 Feeling from the inside 10 Breathing 10 Growing empathy 10 Feelings and focus 10 What you are actually defending 10 Making it stick 9 Righteous anger and perfectionism 9 The cost of avoiding 9 Treatment and medication 9 Obsessions and compulsions 8 Breaking the worry loop 8 When you use something to cope 8 Emotions as signals 7 Facing it a step at a time 7 Knowing your partner 6 Self-compassion 4 Tolerate distress 4 Shared spiritual life 4 Rituals of connection 3 When you go numb 3 Shame 3 Posture and how you carry yourself 3 Act on your values 2 Use your strengths 2 Work with your brain 2 When anger turns to harm 2 Find meaning 2 Question the thought 2 Panic and the body 2 Listening and understanding 2 Meaning after harm 2 Rest and pacing 1 Staying regulated in conflict 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 Your worth is not conditional 1 Get it out of your head 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Notice the pattern and flex 1 Face it gently 1 Living with uncertainty 1 Rebuilding trust 1 Affection and touch 1

Approach

Body based 3 DBT skills 1

When · Any ordinary day

Under stress 5 Any ordinary day 4 After a row 2

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83

Sometimes the thing that stops your tears is an order somebody gave you decades ago, and you are the one carrying it out now. One woman found her father's words sitting behind a habit of wiping her face dry the moment she cried.

That is worth knowing because it changes who the rule belongs to. It was his voice, in her hands, running long after he had gone. Naming the source…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 16:127

Whoever is going to do the feeling picks what to work with. The tightness in the chest, the closing throat, the anger, the grief, whichever one they are ready for today.

Choosing keeps the person in charge of the dose, and being in charge is a fair part of what makes this different from whatever happened to them. If…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:286

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.