Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

When anger turns to harm Coping, mostly Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 4

Who it is written for

A practitioner 6 Someone I care about 4 Me 2

On your own, or with someone

Both of us together 3 On my own 3

Theme · When anger turns to harm

Medication and how it works 97 Systems for daily life 69 Getting assessed and diagnosed 54 Get started 47 Your nervous system 47 Moving your body 43 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Treatment and medication 39 What anger actually is 37 Your sense of time 37 Bringing the future closer 36 Touch and bodywork 30 What ADHD actually is 28 Equanimity and perspective 26 Screens and attention 26 When everything feels flat 25 Structure and routine 25 Growing empathy 25 The moment before you snap 25 Choosing your response 24 Feelings and focus 23 Food, caffeine and fuel 23 What worry does 22 Grounding and settling 21 Knowing your partner 20 Treatment and medication 20 The fear underneath anger 20 The cost of avoiding 19 Breathing 18 Shared spiritual life 16 Being seen and judged 16 Practising under provocation 15 Making it stick 15 Breaking the worry loop 14 Fondness and admiration 14 Remembering to do it 13 Shame and stigma 13 What you are actually defending 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Answering bids 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Feeling from the inside 10 When you use something to cope 10 Emotions as signals 10 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Listening and understanding 10 Gratitude 9 Rituals of connection 7 Affection and touch 7 Use your strengths 7 When anger turns to harm 6 Self-compassion 6 Cool the body first 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 5 Obsessions and compulsions 5 Facing it a step at a time 5 Tolerate distress 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Repair after rupture 3 Question the thought 3 Panic and the body 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Work with your brain 2 Rest and pacing 2 Meaning after harm 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Act on your values 2 Face it gently 2 Shame 1 Safety and grounding 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Listen to the body 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 When you go numb 1 Living with uncertainty 1

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 3 After a row 2

Harm that comes out of feeling threatened and harm that is done coldly, to get something, are not one problem wearing two faces. Before deciding what would help, work out which one you are looking at.

The first kind runs hot. A person feels cornered, the body goes off, and the damage is done inside a few seconds. The second is quiet and aimed, with…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 42:42

Some true things cannot be said early. A reframe that would land well in the tenth conversation will end the second one.

Ideas about what really drives harm, or about a person being more than the worst thing they have done, are easily heard as excusing it or as blaming…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 17:53

When someone introduces themselves as an abuser, take the word seriously without treating it as the finding. A label names a category of offence, not what is actually going on in them.

Some people arrive with the language of a programme or a court already fitted to them, and it closes down the question of what drives the behaviour…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 3:135

Some of what a person does to a partner is not defence and not temper. It is a script they watched at home, absorbed as ordinary, and never once held up to the light.

The tell is that it does not feel like a decision. There was no rush of heat and no sense of crossing a line, because at some level this is simply…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:19

Ask whether the anger is really about this person at all, or whether it is contempt for a whole category of people that happens to have someone standing nearby.

It sounds different once you listen for it. The complaints come out in the plural, about how women are or what wives do, and the particular person in…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 16:90

If the harm has only ever happened when someone had been drinking, the drinking is not the background to an anger problem. It is the anger problem.

Families often know this long before anyone says it aloud: he is fine, except. Go through it honestly, every incident, drunk or sober, and if…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:29

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.