Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices

Tolerate distress Coping, mostly Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 1

Who it is written for

A practitioner 5 Me 4 Someone I care about 3

Where you are right now · Coping, mostly

Struggling right now 5 Coping, mostly 5 Getting ready for something 2

On your own, or with someone

On my own 4 Involves someone else 1

Theme · Tolerate distress

Medication and how it works 97 Systems for daily life 69 Getting assessed and diagnosed 54 Your nervous system 47 Get started 47 Moving your body 43 Exercise, food and other supports 40 Treatment and medication 39 Your sense of time 37 What anger actually is 37 Bringing the future closer 36 Touch and bodywork 30 What ADHD actually is 28 Equanimity and perspective 26 Screens and attention 26 Structure and routine 25 The moment before you snap 25 When everything feels flat 25 Growing empathy 25 Choosing your response 24 Food, caffeine and fuel 23 Feelings and focus 23 What worry does 22 Grounding and settling 21 Treatment and medication 20 Knowing your partner 20 The fear underneath anger 20 The cost of avoiding 19 Breathing 18 Shared spiritual life 16 Being seen and judged 16 Practising under provocation 15 Making it stick 15 Fondness and admiration 14 Breaking the worry loop 14 Remembering to do it 13 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 What you are actually defending 13 Shame and stigma 13 Answering bids 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Listening and understanding 10 When you use something to cope 10 Emotions as signals 10 Feeling from the inside 10 Reading, numbers and learning differences 10 Gratitude 9 Affection and touch 7 Rituals of connection 7 Use your strengths 7 When anger turns to harm 6 Self-compassion 6 Cool the body first 6 Obsessions and compulsions 5 Tolerate distress 5 Rebuilding trust 5 Facing it a step at a time 5 Anger, alcohol and the body 5 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Panic and the body 3 Question the thought 3 Repair after rupture 3 Work with your brain 2 Meaning after harm 2 Act on your values 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Rest and pacing 2 Living with uncertainty 1 Shame 1 Listen to the body 1 Your window of tolerance 1 When you go numb 1 Care for yourself in loss 1 Safety and grounding 1

Approach

Body based 4 DBT skills 1

When · Any ordinary day

Any ordinary day 5 Under stress 4 After a row 1

Before telling someone what you have noticed about them, ask whether they want it. Do you mind if I offer something back to you? Then describe only what you saw, plainly.

Close attention is not neutral for a person who grew up being watched for a reason. Asking first turns being observed into something they agreed to,…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 52:48

Say it plainly: my anger is allowed here. It is a healthy feeling and it is usually the thing telling me where a line should go.

For anyone who learned that their anger made them dangerous or unlovable, it now arrives with shame attached, and the shame is what turns it into…

A minuteTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 2:214

Accepting reality as it is means dropping the fight with what has already happened. It does not mean staying somewhere that is still harming you.

The two get confused often, usually by people who were told to be patient by whoever benefited from their patience. A rough test: acceptance is for…

Five minutesTolerate distressDBT skillsQur’an 39:10

Watch for the small thing that happens right as a feeling starts: the reach for a tissue, the laugh, the change of subject. Notice it once and say nothing, notice it again, and only then mention it.

One instance is an incident and three is a pattern, and the difference matters when you name it, because a pattern can be looked at together without…

Five minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 12:83

Ask what you were taught about crying, about anger, about needing anything. Not what you believe now, but what you were told then, in the words that were actually used.

Most rules about feelings were installed rather than chosen, and once you can hear the original sentence, boys do not cry, do not be so sensitive, it…

Twenty minutesTolerate distressBody basedQur’an 3:186

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.