Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

6 practices

When anger turns to harm Any ordinary day Clear all

How long you have

Five minutes 2 Twenty minutes 4

Who it is written for

A practitioner 6 Someone I care about 4 Me 2

On your own, or with someone

On my own 3 Both of us together 3

Theme · When anger turns to harm

Medication and how it works 148Systems for daily life 90 Your nervous system 87 Get started 69 Getting assessed and diagnosed 64 Your sense of time 58 What anger actually is 58 Moving your body 56 Exercise, food and other supports 55 Food, caffeine and fuel 53 The moment before you snap 49 What ADHD actually is 48 Treatment and medication 48 Bringing the future closer 46 Choosing your response 45 Screens and attention 44 Touch and bodywork 38 Equanimity and perspective 37 When everything feels flat 34 Grounding and settling 34 Structure and routine 33 Feelings and focus 32 The fear underneath anger 31 Reading, numbers and learning differences 31 Practising under provocation 30 Growing empathy 29 What worry does 26 Shame and stigma 25 Cool the body first 25 Making it stick 24 Breathing 24 Being seen and judged 24 The cost of avoiding 24 Treatment and medication 23 Knowing your partner 20 Remembering to do it 20 When you use something to cope 19 Feeling from the inside 16 Facing it a step at a time 16 Shared spiritual life 16 Breaking the worry loop 16 What you are actually defending 14 Fondness and admiration 14 Righteous anger and perfectionism 13 Obsessions and compulsions 13 Emotions as signals 13 Answering bids 12 Tolerate distress 12 Staying regulated in conflict 11 Listening and understanding 10 Gratitude 9 Posture and how you carry yourself 9 Self-compassion 8 Use your strengths 8 Affection and touch 7 Shame 7 Rituals of connection 7 Question the thought 6 When anger turns to harm 6 Anger, alcohol and the body 6 Rebuilding trust 5 Rest and pacing 3 Repair after rupture 3 When you go numb 3 Panic and the body 3 Your worth is not conditional 3 Living with uncertainty 3 Notice the pattern and flex 3 Act on your values 2 Work with your brain 2 Keep the bond 2 Get it out of your head 2 Find meaning 2 Face it gently 2 Meaning after harm 2 Care for yourself in loss 1 Your window of tolerance 1 Safety and grounding 1 Listen to the body 1

When · Any ordinary day

Under stress 6 Any ordinary day 6 After a row 3

Harm that comes out of feeling threatened and harm that is done coldly, to get something, are not one problem wearing two faces. Before deciding what would help, work out which one you are looking at.

The first kind runs hot. A person feels cornered, the body goes off, and the damage is done inside a few seconds. The second is quiet and aimed, with…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 42:42

Some true things cannot be said early. A reframe that would land well in the tenth conversation will end the second one.

Ideas about what really drives harm, or about a person being more than the worst thing they have done, are easily heard as excusing it or as blaming…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 17:53

When someone introduces themselves as an abuser, take the word seriously without treating it as the finding. A label names a category of offence, not what is actually going on in them.

Some people arrive with the language of a programme or a court already fitted to them, and it closes down the question of what drives the behaviour…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 3:135

Some of what a person does to a partner is not defence and not temper. It is a script they watched at home, absorbed as ordinary, and never once held up to the light.

The tell is that it does not feel like a decision. There was no rush of heat and no sense of crossing a line, because at some level this is simply…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:19

Ask whether the anger is really about this person at all, or whether it is contempt for a whole category of people that happens to have someone standing nearby.

It sounds different once you listen for it. The complaints come out in the plural, about how women are or what wives do, and the particular person in…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 16:90

If the harm has only ever happened when someone had been drinking, the drinking is not the background to an anger problem. It is the anger problem.

Families often know this long before anyone says it aloud: he is fine, except. Go through it honestly, every incident, drunk or sober, and if…

Twenty minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 4:29

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.