Practices
Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.
Narrowed down
4 practicesHow long you have · A minute
Who it is written for
Where you are right now
On your own, or with someone
Theme · What you are actually defending
Approach
When · Under stress
Disrespect is a paper tiger. It comes at you looking like something, and it has never once actually done you any damage.
Worth noticing what your body does anyway. The heart goes, the jaw sets, and you get ready as though something physical were about to happen. The…
When your thinking comes back online mid-argument, say so and offer a restart. I could feel myself getting defensive and this is not helping either of us, shall we try that again?
Most people escalate sometimes. The skill worth having is not never starting but knowing how to get out once you have. Naming it yourself gives the…
Anger and doubt cannot really occupy the same moment. Anger sharpens everything to a point, and a genuine maybe blunts it.
This is why an honest question does more than an argument. Not a challenge, which hardens things, but a real one: what if I have got part of this…
Not understanding what is happening frightens a person before it angers them. If you flare up when a situation is unclear, you are meeting something very old in yourself rather than a fault you invented.
Watch the order of it next time. First the blank, the not knowing what this means or where it is going, then a tightening in the chest or jaw, then…
Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.