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Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

3 practices
When anger turns to harm remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
Who it is written for
A practitioner 3Someone I care about 3Me 1
Where you are right now · Coping, mostly
Struggling right now 3Coping, mostly 3
On your own, or with someone
Both of us together 2On my own 1
Theme · When anger turns to harm
Staying regulated in conflict 20Choosing your response 17The fear underneath anger 14The moment before you snap 14Cool the body first 12Your nervous system 11Answering bids 9Feelings and focus 8Equanimity and perspective 8What anger actually is 8Touch and bodywork 7Affection and touch 6Knowing your partner 5What you are actually defending 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4Making it stick 4Practising under provocation 4Facing it a step at a time 4Tolerate distress 4Safety and grounding 3Let the wave come 3Listening and understanding 3Working with anger 3Name what you feel 3Calm the body 3When anger turns to harm 3Patience and trust 2The cost of avoiding 2Emotions as signals 2Feeling from the inside 2Grounding and settling 2When everything feels flat 2Meaning after harm 2Question the thought 2Rebuild trust 2Ride the urge 2Righteous anger and perfectionism 2What worry does 1Your window of tolerance 1Validate yourself and others 1Shared spiritual life 1Shame and stigma 1Shame 1Repair after rupture 1Act on your values 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Medication and how it works 1Listen to the body 1Growing empathy 1Food, caffeine and fuel 1When you use something to cope 1Care for yourself in loss 1Bringing the future closer 1Breathing 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 6Under stress 3After a row 2

Ask it plainly. Do you think you are a threat to anyone you love? A vague anger problem turns into something workable the moment it has a name attached to it.

Then keep going, because the follow up questions carry most of the weight. Has there been any thought of killing someone, or of dying. What is in the…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 5:32

Imagining revenge is ordinary and on its own tells you very little. What matters is whether it has started collecting details: a particular person, a method, a time, something bought or moved.

Almost everybody who is furious has run some version of a scene in their head, and treating that as alarming only teaches people not to mention it.…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 11:112

An act meant to be heard rather than to end a life can still end one. Whatever you believe about the intent, lethality is a separate question and it always gets asked.

The ways this happens are ordinary and awful. A method more dangerous than the person realised. The friend who was meant to arrive, arriving late. A…

Five minutesWhen anger turns to harmCoreQur’an 25:68

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.