Inshirahone small thing, well grounded
GuidesPracticesAboutGet help nowInshirah Academy

Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

5 practices
Knowing your partner remove filterCoping, mostly remove filterUnder stress remove filterClear all
How long you have
A minute 3Five minutes 2
Who it is written for
My husband or wife 5Me 5
On your own, or with someone
Involves someone else 3On my own 2
Theme · Knowing your partner
Staying regulated in conflict 20Choosing your response 17The moment before you snap 14The fear underneath anger 14Cool the body first 12Your nervous system 11Answering bids 9What anger actually is 8Equanimity and perspective 8Feelings and focus 8Touch and bodywork 7Affection and touch 6Knowing your partner 5Practising under provocation 4Tolerate distress 4Getting assessed and diagnosed 4What you are actually defending 4Facing it a step at a time 4Making it stick 4Safety and grounding 3When anger turns to harm 3Calm the body 3Let the wave come 3Listening and understanding 3Name what you feel 3Working with anger 3Righteous anger and perfectionism 2Grounding and settling 2Feeling from the inside 2Question the thought 2Emotions as signals 2Patience and trust 2Meaning after harm 2Ride the urge 2The cost of avoiding 2When everything feels flat 2Rebuild trust 2Growing empathy 1Food, caffeine and fuel 1When you use something to cope 1Care for yourself in loss 1Bringing the future closer 1Breathing 1Your window of tolerance 1Act on your values 1Shame 1Shame and stigma 1Shared spiritual life 1Obsessions and compulsions 1Validate yourself and others 1Medication and how it works 1What worry does 1Repair after rupture 1Listen to the body 1
When · Under stress
Any ordinary day 20Under stress 5

Say the real thing under the protest today: I need to know you are there for me.

Not a demand, a reach. The plainest words of the heart are the ones that land.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 2:186

When you are low today, ask your spouse for comfort in plain words.

Can you just hold me a minute. Asking directly is braver, and far more likely to work.

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

If sharing a real feeling is too scary, start smaller: say out loud just how hard it is to say it.

You do not have to leap straight to the deepest disclosure. Naming the difficulty itself, this is really hard for me to talk about, is a first honest…

A minuteKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 94:5

Under the reactive feeling you show, anger or coldness, there is a softer primary one: fear, hurt, or loneliness. Reach for that and share it.

The heat we show a partner, criticism or withdrawal, is usually a secondary emotion covering a tender primary one underneath. Naming the softer…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 50:16

If you are the one who goes quiet and pulls away, name the fear behind it and step back in: I shut you out because I was afraid of failing you.

Withdrawing looks like coldness but is usually self-protection from a fear of not being enough. Coming out from behind the wall, naming the fear, and…

Five minutesKnowing your partnerEmotionally focusedQur’an 40:60

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.