Practices

Every practice in the library, in one list. Narrow it by how long you have, who it is written for, and where you are right now.

Narrowed down

4 practices

The fear underneath anger Struggling right now Under stress Clear all

How long you have

A minute 2 Five minutes 2

Who it is written for

Me 4 A practitioner 4 Someone I care about 3 My husband or wife 1

Where you are right now · Struggling right now

Coping, mostly 14 Struggling right now 4

Theme · The fear underneath anger

Grounding and settling 28 Cool the body first 19 The moment before you snap 18 Touch and bodywork 15 Your nervous system 13 What anger actually is 12 Choosing your response 11 Systems for daily life 9 Breathing 9 Moving your body 8 Feelings and focus 8 Screens and attention 8 The cost of avoiding 8 Medication and how it works 7 Feeling from the inside 7 Shame 7 What worry does 6 Breaking the worry loop 6 Equanimity and perspective 6 Tolerate distress 5 Bringing the future closer 5 Treatment and medication 5 Shame and stigma 5 When everything feels flat 4 Letting it out safely 4 The fear underneath anger 4 Get started 4 Posture and how you carry yourself 4 Food, caffeine and fuel 4 When anger turns to harm 3 Being seen and judged 3 Emotions as signals 3 Growing empathy 3 Getting assessed and diagnosed 3 Obsessions and compulsions 3 Exercise, food and other supports 3 Question the thought 3 Structure and routine 2 Reading, numbers and learning differences 2 Making it stick 2 Your sense of time 2 Self-compassion 2 Practising under provocation 2 Facing it a step at a time 1 When you use something to cope 1 What you are actually defending 1 Anger, alcohol and the body 1 What ADHD actually is 1 Righteous anger and perfectionism 1 Rest and pacing 1 Remembering to do it 1 Panic and the body 1

When · Under stress

Any ordinary day 6 Under stress 4 After a row 4

Let yourself be frightened. People who cannot stand the feeling tend to do something reckless to make it stop, and it is the recklessness that gets them hurt.

Old soldiers say the same thing about who survived: not the ones who felt nothing, but the ones who could admit they were terrified and stay careful…

A minuteThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 28:7

Never decide you are safe because the other person is scared. Frightened people are often the ones who go furthest.

Anger as fear is a useful way of understanding somebody and a useless safety assessment. If the voice is rising, if the space between you is closing,…

A minuteThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 20:45

Anger rescues you from an unbearable in between by handing you something to do. The relief is real, and that is exactly why it keeps coming back.

Fear asks you to sit in a situation that has not resolved yet, which is a horrible ask. Anger says no to that and converts it into action, and the…

Five minutesThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 9:40

When somebody manages a partner through anger, it is worth asking what the control is guarding. Very often the answer is a fear of being left.

Telling someone that nobody else would have them is that fear turned into a weapon, and it usually arrives when the person feels furthest away.…

Five minutesThe fear underneath angerCoreQur’an 65:3

Looking for a whole subject rather than a single practice? Start from the nine areas.